Life, Love, and everything in between...

Can anyone tell me why chatting to women is so damn difficult? Why do I constantly sit there grinning like an idiot when trying to speak to members of the oppsite sex? I must have some sort of genetic defect which manifests itself by making my voicebox seize up whenever I am supposed to be talking to a young lady... My brain is thinking "Say something either clever, funny, or complimentary" What actually leaves my mouth is often some sort of gobbledygook involving a badly spoken, fragmented sentence about nothing in particular, which only serves to make me sound like I should be locked away for the safety of myself and others. I just can't do it. So I have come to the conclusion that I am going to die alone.....


..... Shit.


I really must stop being such a berk and just ask someone out, no matter how much of a prat I sound when I do it.

Right! I have made a late new-years resolution... Stop acting like a fool and just tackle the situation head-on...



Tip of the day: When faced with a difficult problem, just ask yourself "What would the Lone Ranger do?"

100 Greatest Cartoons...

I have just watched "The 100 greatest cartoons" on C4 and obviously The Simpsons won, but there was no sign of Ducktales, Count Duckula, Trap Door, M.A.S.K, Fantastic Max, The Tick, or Bananaman...

I'm going to complain, get something to eat, and download the theme tunes to the above 7 cartoons.....

... Not necessarily in that order



Quick thought: "No matter how deep a lake may be... It only ever comes half way up a duck!"

Well, look what I found...

I was digging through some photo's the other day and I found an old school photo. I have added the names of the members of the original rogues gallery!



Mr Powells Class.1988

Good, ain't it? Who would have thought that the ginger kid in the back row would grow up with the skill to blag VIP tickets from strip clubs!?

I might put this on friends reunited...

http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk

I'm not just an artist, I'm a work of art!

Well how cool is this...? my good buddy John has turned me into a show-piece at the NEC photography show, with some photographs he did of me dressed as a 1920's gangster for a "film noir" project for his photography course..... Nice one!


Yeah baby!


Ok so I admit that I'm not exactly a centre piece, but it is rather cool knowing lots of people will be looking at the photo's and thinking "who's that mysterious, good looking stranger?"

..... Or not. They will probably be thinking "who's the bloke so ugly they had to take the photo's in the dark?" (which it was, nearly...!) You can't really see my face, but what the heck. I'm an artwork and proud of it!

Has anyone seen my sense of humour...?

Has anyone noticed how I am "less funny"of late? I don't seem to be able to crack quickfire jokes like I used to... It's rather discomforting since I quite enjoyed being "the funny one" amongst my friends. Heck, it was just about the only thing i was any good at! I can't explain it but I actually feel slightly guilty of the fact that I'm not as effective as making people laugh, as though It was my sole duty, and now I can't do it... It's like I've lost my purpose to exist. Does that sound like a case for a psychiatrist or what!?

Hopefully this is a temporary thing and it will pass.... Maybe it was the cold weather? I hope I will be back on form within a short while... I had better be, or else I am going to turn into a sad lonely depressive.......



...... And we don't want that, do we?

I like driving in my car.... (even though it's a shit-heap)

Its difficult, buying a car...I'm torn between a Vauxhall Vectra and a Ford Mondeo. I like both but don't know which one to go for. I am worried incase I buy one and then decide I want the other...

The Mondeo has a nice interior, good range of options, and is very reliable. The Vectra looks cooler from the outside, an OK interior, similar options, but usually slightly cheaper than equivalent Mondeos... Its a real doozy of a situation, I can tell you...

The Golf has gone in for repairs to the carb' so hopefully it will be back on the road by Tuesday. And, even more hopefully, will be sold in a few months. I will update on this as soon as things start to happen.


Remember: Never poke mad people with sticks...

Lank is a genious....

... He is, you know. He managed to blag 6 VIP tickets to Medusa in Birmingham "Just for the fun of it" Truly amazing! He used his dad's company name and e-mailed the club saying that "his" company was bringing clients to Birmingham and that a party of them would be coming to the venue... Being a reletavely new club, they jumped on the chance to increase sales, so they sent him 6 VIP tickets, told him that the party (of which I will be part of) would receive a free bottle of champagne and get the full VIP treatment from the girls....... Truly a king amongst men!

http://www.medusaclub.com

Another day, another dollar

Well, work was fun. More snowballs, more kids, more stress.... I need a holiday! But enough about work, I'm here to blog.

As you may have noticed, I have some random pics' and an animation on here... It was just for the fun of it, but expect to see a lot more of them. I particularly like my profile photo. I will post any and all little animations that catch my eye, just for the fun of it...

I am going to the pub later for a few beers... Should be good. I might blog it when I come home later (If I am still sober enough to use the computer.)

*yawn* Im going to have something to eat...


Question: Why do people say "heads up" when they are telling someone to duck?

Animation, Anyone?

Introducing the universe's most feared enemy....

All fear Darth Nanny!!!

I took the red pill...

Welcome..... To the real world.

Let the world look upon me...

Don't I look innocent...?

Well I figured out how to publish photo's so be prepared for some visual madness....

A new day is upon us...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow... So I woke up this morning and had to drive to work in a force 10 blizzard... Nice. My mums car is very tempremental when it comes to things like "traction" and "stopping" so I had to be extra careful.

School was like World War 3... The kids just wanted to snowball each other (and staff) and not do any work, but all was eventually resolved when Mr. Evans took charge......

..... So I got up off the floor and brushed the snow off me whilst trying to avoid the second volley of snowballs aimed at my face. The first lot hit me square on. I didn't stand a chance. It gave the kids a laugh though and at least they all got to their lessons on time...

Coming home from work was just as bad as getting there, what with all the snow and ice. I dashed home, and had to go straight out again to Shirley to the post office to get my passport changed, but there was something wrong with the form, so It hasn't been done..... One wasted trip out into the cold for no reason..... lovely!

I'm going to watch TV...

Random thought: Would cows enjoy the taste of milk?

Grenades, Computer games, and Automobiles.

Me, Adam, and John went round to Carls house to play Halo 2. Adam brought his Xbox so we had a system-link going on.... Pretty cool, however Adam is far too good at finding hiding places and sniping people... I just wish he's vary his gameplay. Ah, no worries I'm still the grenade king...

Changing the subject, my car has a problem with the carburettor. It is pissing oil into the air-filter so I need a new one... I want the Golf gone by June at the absolute latest.

Random thought: Why can't you buy mouse flavoured cat food?

Pictureless...

Well I wanted to upload a photo so that my mug-shot would be plastered over this page, but it won't let me.... What kind of computer can override its masters commands?

And a big "Howdy ho"

*pop* And so It was..... My very own place to randomize, think out loud, and maybe crack a few jokes along the way! The chances are you already know me but If not, then hello and welcome. I am Gareth: Artist, philosopher, and magician... (actually, i studied art at college, I think about nothing but my next meal, and i only know 4 card tricks, but it tends to impress the ladies) My good friend and drinking buddy John has his own blogspot (http://www.lessthanjohn.blogspot.com) and in reading it, I decided to follow suit. I need a place to keep my memory (well, it will free up some brain-space, won't it?) and to be honest I'm too lazy to keep a diary (plus which, I would probably lose it, eat it or destroy it.) So a blog page seemed like a good idea. I will endeavour to keep it up to date and informative (as well as having a bit of fun along the way!)

Well we are nearly in March so I wont blog all of January and February, I'll just give a quick overview to get myself up to speed...

January: I spent this month looking at cars, mine has to go. Its old, it's tatty and it guzzles the drink like George Best at an "all you can swig" buffet in the middle of the sahara desert...

February: Well, Valentines' day came, and in my porch there were lots of lovely envelopes... The gas bill, the telephone bill, one for me (apparently i am eligiable for a nat-west loan of anything up to £15,000 with a typical rate of just 7.4%!) one about nectar points, and a letter to my mum from someone who sells mortgages....

.... Crap.

So no one loves me... I decided to cheer myself up by spending £250 on a set of personal registration plates from the DVLA (not to be confused with the DVDA, which is something totally un-related to this topic) My plates read: M12 GME (the "12" is supposed to look like an "R" so it reads "MR GME") All I need now is a car to put them on..... I'll go and get an Autotrader....

So now I'm up to speed. I will try to end all my blogs on a high note. Something relevent, something fun, something pure. So I leave you with this:

"When composing a symphony, always remember that the chord of D-minor creates the feeling of suspence"