"Hello... No, I'm not a waiter!"

Hello readers and welcome to this weeks thrilling update. And what an update it will be! I have some lovely photo's for you, and even a video or two! So prepare for a feast of juicy blogging...

I will begin, as always, with Monday... Which dragged on a bit at work, but it wasn't too bad. In the evening everyone decided to stay in. Myself, John, and Adam ended up on our Xboxes playing Halo.

Tuesday at work went quite quickly and I was out the door for 4:30pm. I spent a few hours browsing the inter-web when I came across the following picture. It is such a simple thing, but it had me laughing like an idiot. (so much so that it is now my PC desktop wallpaper...

Ha ha! You can just imagine the one on the left thinking: "Oh for gods sake"

Ah well, it made me laugh... In the evening Jo was supposed to join us but she was feeling tired and decided to stay in. We ended up... um... Actually I can't remember... I will have to think.

What I do know is that it was my sisters birthday. She had gone out with friends for a drink that evening but would be available the following day to accept presents from family members!
Wednesday, work went fairly quick, though I rather stupidly missed a staff briefing! No matter though, I was told that the information could be Emailed to me at my Woodrush staff email account...

... Wait! What? I have a Woodrush staff Email account!?

I logged on for the first time since it was created in September... I had quite an inbox and some rather important stuff which I needed to respond to! I will have to rememeber to keep on top of that in the future. In the evening me, Selena and Dad went for a meal at the... um.. pub... the one I can never remember the name of... I always get it mixed up with The Peacock and The Bluebell... I think it's over towards Bromsgrove....

... The Fleur de Lis! Thats the one! We went to The Fleur de Lis for a meal... I had fish and chips (not fish 'n' chips... Fish AND Chips... There's a difference!) which was nice and cheesecake for dessert... Which was even nicer! Afterwards we left and got back home, since a big meal will undoubtedly make me want to sleep...

Thursday... Thursday was an interesting day at work... I was called in for my "Annual review" because every member of staff must, by order of the powers that be, have a review of progress every year without fail... Well I have been there 3 years and have never had one! So at 10:15am on the dot I was summoned in to an office. It was an informal affair and within 15 minutes I was back out and getting on with whatever needed to be got on. 4:30pm came round soon enough and I was out the door.

At the packhorse that evening me and Lank were the first to arrive. Jenny followed, and then everyone else a while later. We had a good evening, though I spent most of it talking to one of Dans' mates at the bar! Lank and myself left at a respectable 12:00midnight, and I got in and went to bed.

Friday! Friday was non-uniform day at school for Children in need and so the kiddies were hyper! (it's just the way it is when it's non-uniform) I had to cover a science lesson which should have been revision, but it soon decayed in to madness and I was forced to shout... Something which doesn't happen very often, but is always an option if needs be. Anyway at 3:30pm I left and was gearing up for the weekend. It had been arranged that me, Adam, Jenny, and Marcus, along with some of Adams work collegues, would go for a bit of a night out in Solihull. Jenny kindly picked me up on the way to Marcus and Adams at about 6:00pm. When we got there, Adam was playing Assassins Creed... It's a really good game and I think I will add it to my christmas list! At about 8:00pm we started the walk in to Solihull town centre. It isn't far, but it was cold! I was being manly and went out without a jacket...

... Sorry, did I say "manly"? I meant "Stupid"

Actually, my years of throwing myself down mountains during blizzards meant that I felt it a lot less than the others. We started off in Weatherspoons, but ended up walking up to... Where else? Reflex. (One of Marcus' favorite drinking establishments!... Not!) We met up with some of Adams friends and got the drinks in... During the course of the evening we aquired a set of novelty sunglasses... remember I said there would be pictures? Well here you go...

Adam... Or should I say "Insect-boy!!! Ever alert for the call to action!" (No, wait, thats Bananaman, isn't it?)

... And his companion, "Bug-girl" (with a ghostly, mysterious face in the background!)

... And here we see... Um... "Marcus-Man!" about to unleash "The finger of superhuman pointing!"

... Oh screw it, you get the idea!

Anyway, a little later on people were inexplicably attracted to the dancing pole... Mr. Turbitt got up, but...

... Refused to have a go (though I still have a video, which is on my blog somewhere, of Adam dancing around this very pole)

then Marcus wanted a go...

Pole dancing with a pint in his hand... Classy! Fortunately, a few minutes later...

... Jenny, who has hips and knows how to use them, decided to join in and teach marcus a thing or two about dancing.

We were in Reflex until about 2:45am... Which is when it closes! I dived in to a taxi and went home where I went straight to bed.

I awoke Saturday morning and waited for my sisters arrival, along with my nan and grandad (who had bought me a sausage roll which is still in the fridge... Hmm.)

After pottering about people left because it was time to get ready for the main event... It was ladies Night at the Chateau Impney! The theme this year was "Moustaches and Tiarras" so I cut mine in to what has been described as a "Wyatt Earp" style 'tash... After doing that Selena went home to get changed, and I got my tuxedo out. Selena was dropped back to my house by Kieron, but we had to go back because she had forgoten her necklace. After retrieving it we picked Donna up since she was my lady for the evening. (I mean that in a completely innocent way, of course.) Mum dropped us off at fathers house and we waited for the taxi. Whilst waiting we got a couple of photo's...

These have been poached from Donnas Facebook album...

Me and Donna. Doesn't she look lovely?

Dad, Selena, and me... You will notice that, since my dad had had a 'tash for the past 35 years, he didn't have to actually do anything for the evening.

The minibus taxi arrived 10 minutes early (there's a world first!) so he was waiting a good while before we were all ready. Us four, plus my dads neighbourse from both sides of his house, piled in to the minibus and we set off. It was about 20 minutes to the Chateau and when we arrived, we got stuck in to the routine of mingling, and doing introductions (So that Donna knew who people were.) At about 8:15pm we were sent through to the main dining hall and the evening got underway. The meal was 5 courses: Salmon and mayonaise starter, Mushroom and pea soup, Lamb and veggies with new potatoes for mains, Honey topped Bruille for dessert, and then coffee and chocolate. It was all rather suave... That is until everyone picked up the pea-shooters provided and started pelting each other! Oh yes, and then there was the entertainment. Last year it was a Tiller Girl act which was blogged one year ago! This time round, it was a hawaiian/surf dance routine... Words fail me... The guy closest to me is my father... Oh the shame, the shame! ha ha... just watch the video!

ha ha! It had everyone in stitches.

Afterwards the lights were dimmed and the disco started... Again, I have a few photos for you. Some are mine, some are Donnas...

Off donnas camera, I reckon this is the nicest photo of the evening!

One I took of the entertainment. Father is on the right...


Donna caught my dad trying to dance... What move do you call that, father?

One of Selena and Neils partner. They used to work together at Joffsons Forklifts, and Selena didn't know that they were going!


Proof that I at least attempted to dance!

And again, on the floor.

My real test was when Donna grabbed me for a rock n roll number... And my footwork was expected to be impecable since donna had taught it to me a while a go whilst I was fixing her PC. (though she did give me a quick refresher course at the table.)

I think I passed my test (just.)

After the wine, the music, and the helium (Oh yes, there was balloons galore!) it soon became time to do one last dance (New york New york, what else!?) to close the evening. At about 1:30am we got back in to the taxi and went home. I was the first to be dropped off along with Selena. I said goodnight and went in, to hang up my penguin suit, my waiters uniform, my bond costume for another year...

... But, I had an absolutely wonderful time. I mean, how could I not? I was dancing with the prettiest girl in the room!

TTFN readers.