Good Lord!

Hello readers and welcome to another thrilling update...

... Well I say "Thrilling" but I'm blogging the week of the half term holiday and I actually didn't do very much. Though I do have quite a strange tale to tell...

In fact I might as well not do a "day-to-day" style blog as it's all going to be the same... Xbox, Internet, Food, Solihull, Sleep etc...

However there are a couple of highlights.

I borrowed a couple of Anime DVDs off Kieron and Sat down to watch them. The first was Street Fighter Alpha, which I actually saw at Kierons, the second was a film called Sky Blue which is a great film about the last human city on a future Earth. The third is the Anime prequel to the videogame "Deadspace" and I have another to watch simply titled "X" so I'm on a manga/Anime high at the moment.

The big thing to happen to me during the week was the rather unusual accomplishment of becoming ordained! I applyied via an online form to the Universal Life Church in a town called "Modesto" in California and they sent me an email a couple of days later which stated that I was ordained as a minister by Pastor, Kevin Andrews on the 16th of February and that, because it was an actual person, I "was not ordained online" and "it should not be refered to as such."

... This has lead Carl to give me the not-so-honourable nickname of "Reverend Bullshit" but I combated that by "Blessing" his tapwater (which I think I'm allowed to do!) and flicking the newly-founded holy water at him! I then made the sign of the cross, and then a V!

So that was that.

Wednesaday saw me trying to teach my father how to make CDs but the terms "rip" and "burn" were confusing him so I simplyfied the process and before too long he was uploading a multitude of music to his computer.

Thursday was spent in the Swan as usual where I showed everyone my letter of ordination...

... No-one gave a shit.

And that really is just about that. Sorry readers but apart from the tales I've told you, nothing else really happened during the holidays.

I will sign off this short blog with a biblical quote: "And the Lord spoke unto moses. "Come Forth" but Moses tripped and came fifth..."

TTFN

Why has it all gone dark?

Hello readers and welcome to a post which is on time! Yes, I know. It's amazing! I'm actually blogging when I should so a big hurrah! all round...

... no? Oh ok then...

Anyway I will dive straight in to it...

Monday. I finished work and came home to play a bit of Red Alert 3 before taking it over to Adam, John and Carls. we watched a bit of TV and looked at red Alert before Jenny and Marcus came over. We ended up watching Wall.E which I had never seen. I'm glad I have though as Pixar has never done a bad film and it is hillarious throughout. After it had finished I came home to watch QI before going to bed.

Tuesday. The evening was spent over at Carl and Adams. Watching TV and having a laugh before taking a quick excursion to The Greville for a swift pint. Afterwards we came back and ordered a chinese!

Wednesday. I went down to fathers as usual and spent a while watching Terry Pratchett on TV and trying to clear a virus off his PC before popping in to the Swan to see Donna and co'

Thursday. What a day at work! The class I was helping look after were being visited by Taffy Thomas the Storyteller! He is a professional story teller based in the Lake District and tours the country telling stories with his "Tale Coat" This thing is amazing. It has pictures on it that relate to a certain story. Children can point to a picture to hear Taffy tell that particular story... It's like a Jukebox for storytelling! The artistry is amazing and it apparently cost £4000 10 years ago!
See the Tale Coat here.

At about 2:50pm, as we were gearing up to go, the lights went out and everything went off...

... Powercut! inconvenient, but no big deal, right? Well soon enough it was time to go and off I went. I spent the evening in the Swan as usual with the regular crowd. We drank and laughed and had a merry-old time until it was time to go home, where Lank kindly deposited me. I came in, had something to eat whilst watching Mock the Week and went to bed.

Friday. I awoke, got ready for work, got in my car, and as I was setting off I got a phonecall from the agency telling me that Calthorpe was closed due to a power faliure! Apparently it was the main fuse boards that had blown out the day before, not a typicall power cut. Nothing was working so the decision was made to close for the day! that meant only one thing...

... LONGER HALF TERM! WOOHOO!

Ahem... I went back in side and went to sleep for an hour. I got up at 9:00am-ish and had breakfast then pottered about for the morning before Phoning Kieron to see what he was doing. The answer thankfully turned out to be "not much" so I went over to play some xbox/PS3.

I came home a while later and decided to stay in and play some Red Alert 3.

Saturday. During the day I went over to Solihull to by "Only By The Night" and Chinese Democracy" by Kings of Leon and Guns and Roses, respectively.

The evening was spent over at Carl and Adams where we watched some TV played Wii Sports and ordered a chinese. I had Macao Chicken Curry which is awsome (must remember its a 49.D on their menu)
At around 12:00am-ish I came back home to bed.

Sunday. Rather normal. Dinner, Legion , Nans, Tea, Home, Bed.

Right. I wil leave you there readers.
TTFN.

The Sex-U-Tron 9000!

Hello readers and welcome to a hurried blog... I say "hurried" as it's already a day late (as usual) and it's currently 11:30pm.

Right. Lets blog...

Monday. Well I awoke to discover that someone was either: A) filming the sequel to "Day after Tomorrow" outside my house, or B) We had been given a shit-load of snow by the goodwill of the baby Jesus. I recieved a phonecall shortly after I got up and was informed by Kirsty at P+K Recruitment (thats the agency I work for) that Calthorpe was closed because of the snow...

... WOOHOO!

By way of celebration I immediately went over to Selena and Kieron. Kieron was in all day so we played through Little Big Planet for most of the morning and then Command and Conquer: Red Akert 3... In the afternoon, I went to tax my car.

I didn't go over to Adam and Carls that evening as I wasn't going to risk driving on roads that could have hosted a medium-sized olympic slalom!

Tuesday... I awoke to the familiar sound of my phones alarm ("Layla" by Eric Clapton) and looked outside to the crispy whiteyness! Again, phonecall... Snowday!

... WOOHOO!

It was Carls Birthday so I went over to his house. I phoned Marcus (who I knew would be off school as well) and we decided to go sledging! Now the main problem with this was that none of us owned a sledge... So we decided to make some!

We got 3 big plastic lids off the recycling boxes and put a cuchion on top of them. We then bound them up with a couple of bin bags and "voila!" 3 little sledges! We took then over to Elmdon park to try them out. About a million other people had the same idea though but we decide to try them out....

... They didn't work. There was too much friction so they didnt slide. We put them back in the car and went for a walk. Whilst we were approaching the top of the hill I had a couple of snowballs whizz past me. I turned around to find about 8 youths, about 15-16, lobbing snowballs at people and shouting and acting like complete dicks. No one was challenging them about it and they were spoiling the day for families by swearing and throwing snowballs at little kids. So I decided to draw their fire a bit... So I started calling them nancy-boys and that got there attention. The inbreds then started throwing big bits of ice at me but couldnt throw for shit, so I kept avoiding them and everytime one landed I would say something like "ooh, so close" or "keep trying, you're getting better" in an overly sarcastic manner. One of the inbreds then got a handful of ice and charged at me... Now I was certain that this would turn in to a fight but he threw the ice at me from a distance of about 6 feet and still managed to miss me. I started laughing and he walked off looking like a prat. We walked off to let the gayboys sulk. We had a wander round and, when we made our way back up to the top. The gayboys returned and threw a couple of missers at me. I didnt acknowledge them so the one crept up behind me. I didnt know he was there until a snowball shot past my left arm. I turned round to find him standing RIGHT behind me! So I said "how the hell did you manage to miss, you utter retard?" which he didnt like but I took a step towards him and he ran off... nob! We decided to call it a day after that. As we were leaving the gayboys decided they'd had enough as well and threw one final snowball which missed me by an inch. Since this was the closest they had come to hitting me they took that as a victory and started laughing in an over-the-top manner. The fact that they had at least 30 attempts to hit me and COMPLETELY FAILED didnt seem to stop them from thinking they were victorious... This was short lived as the one I threw back would have hit the one pleb in the face but he managed to get out of the way. They eventually walked off and so did we.

We decided to get some lunch at the Greville and then in the evening we went bowling in Rubery. All in all it was a good day!

Wednesday. I awoke, like you did, to snow but alas! I checked the radio and the BRMB website and Calthorpe was open!

... D'OH!

I made my way in through the hectic traffic and the arctic conditions and proceeded to do a full days work.... In the snow! Whoever heard of such a thing!?

In the evening I went over to fathers where we watched Terry Pratchett talking about his Alzheimers. I then called in to The Swan to meet up with Donna and co' After coming home I got myself a bite to eat and went to bed.

Thursday. I got up and looked out of the window... Frosty goodness in all its sugary whiteness (and I ain't talkin' 'bout no breakfast cereal!) And then it happened... Phonecall. Snowday.

... WOOHOO!

The day consisted of TV and microwaveable food. In the evening people went to the swan (sans Lank who, quite understandably, didn't want to drive in the harsh conditions) where we were told that, because of the weather and the lack of people the bar would be closing at 10:00pm...

... D'OH!

We drank our fill and at 10:30pm we left. I had walked up rather than ask ma' for a lift as I quite enjoy cold nights. I always seem to feel more comfortable in the cold than I do in the warm...

But on this occasion Carl offered to drop me back and I obliged as even I could see that negotiating icy pavements after 5 pints of Guinness isn't just silly, it's down right SUICIDAL!

Friday. I awoke to slightly less snow and consigned myself to the fact that Calthorpe would be open. I was getting ready for work when I got a phonecall!... Snowday!

... WOOHOO!

I went back to bed for a bit and got up around 10:00am-ish to mess about on the internet watching just about every video on youtube and discovering all sorts of things on wikipedia!

Then I turned the Xbox and played a bit of Halo.

In the evening I went over to Adam and Carls and John had appeared! Yes he was back in Brum' so we celebrated by watching TV! yeah... We know how to live it up...

... Ahem.

I came home at about 11:30pm and went to bed.

saturday. I got up and needed something new to occupy myself with. I had enjoyed playing C&C:RA3 at Kierons so I went in to Solihull to buy it for myself. I was in and out of GAME in Mell Square within 20 minutes.

I came home and played the first few levels before heading over to Adam and Carls (and Johns) with my 360 Hardrive and C&C:RA3 to show it off.

Right. Sunday. This is where it gets strange. After Dinner I went to the legion as usual but because of the blizzard outside we were quite empty... Not totally empty, but a little bit empty. Myself and David (who I work with on a Sunday) felt the onset of boredom... So we decided to stave off the boredom by cutting up boxes to throw away...

... Then it got out of hand...

... I grabbed some plastic cups, and a knife and I just started building...

... The result is below...





Sexy!

It wants you!

I christened my creation the "Sex-U-Bot 9000" and wore it for a while before taking it off to serve at the bar. Yes it was silly but it was good fun!

Afterwards I went to my nans for tea as usual before coming home.

Right. I will leave it there readers.

TTFN.

All good things...

Hello readers and welcome to this weeks blog.

Last week I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger when I said that I was feeling shite. Basically I text Julie asking her if she would like to go out for the evening and the reply I got wasn't inspiring. She said that she thought it was a good idea if we didn't see each other anymore and all communication was severed...

... Lovely!

So I went with Donna to the Red Lion in Earlswood for a drink to try and drown my sorrows...

... What nobody told me is that sorrows can swim!

Anyhoo... Tuesday. Work went quite quick and in the evening I went with Donna to the Swan for a drink and a chat. Whilst there we ran in to father and one of his friends so we joined them, and somehow we managed to get on to the subject of Tiramisu and that Dad has a good recipe for one. We had a good old chinwag but chucking out time soon came along and Donna dropped me home,

Wednesday. The evening was spent at fathers as usual where we watched something like "Americas-wildest-most-outrageous-police-videos-gone-bad-ever-uncut" until I went over to Donnas house (with a Tiramisu recipe!) as she wasn't at the pub because she had a bit of a sniffle. Whilst there I noticed that she had Wii Fit. I was asking her what it did and so she decided to show me. Now I thought that it was all aerobics and yoga, but NO! it has all sorts of balancing games and a full range of fun things to do. Now the one that caught my eye was the skiing... I had one go and discovered that I was crap at it. But I became slightly obsessed with it and spent an hour or so getting good at it until finally I dominated the top spot on the leaderboard... Just because I thought it was something I SHOULD be good at...

... Not that I'm a competitive person, honest.............

Ahem... Anyway time soon came to say goodnight and I came home to go to bed.

Thursday. Work went well and I was home before I knew it. The evening was spent in The Swan as usual and a good time was had by all. At 11:30pm though it was time to make tracks.

Friday. I went, in the evening, over to Adam and Carls. Adam was out with work so Myself, Carl, and Marcus went for a curry. We ate ourselves silly before coming back to rendezvous with Adam (and "houseguest")

Saturday. I got up fairly early and was going to go over to Adam and Carls but realised I had let my tax expire on my car. I didn't do much except that in the evening I covered a shift at the legion. The band that were playing were a good bunch and I enjoyed myself.

Sunday. I did my normal shift at the legion and then got picked up by Selena to go off to my Aunts as it was my nans 85th birthday and we were having tea to celebrate. After a delicious bolognaise and homemade cake Selena dropped me back home.

Right. I will leave it there readers as I'm off out in a bit.

TTFN.