At last! a place to keep my memory...!: The Sex-U-Tron 9000!

Hello readers and welcome to a hurried blog... I say "hurried" as it's already a day late (as usual) and it's currently 11:30pm.

Right. Lets blog...

Monday. Well I awoke to discover that someone was either: A) filming the sequel to "Day after Tomorrow" outside my house, or B) We had been given a shit-load of snow by the goodwill of the baby Jesus. I recieved a phonecall shortly after I got up and was informed by Kirsty at P+K Recruitment (thats the agency I work for) that Calthorpe was closed because of the snow...

... WOOHOO!

By way of celebration I immediately went over to Selena and Kieron. Kieron was in all day so we played through Little Big Planet for most of the morning and then Command and Conquer: Red Akert 3... In the afternoon, I went to tax my car.

I didn't go over to Adam and Carls that evening as I wasn't going to risk driving on roads that could have hosted a medium-sized olympic slalom!

Tuesday... I awoke to the familiar sound of my phones alarm ("Layla" by Eric Clapton) and looked outside to the crispy whiteyness! Again, phonecall... Snowday!

... WOOHOO!

It was Carls Birthday so I went over to his house. I phoned Marcus (who I knew would be off school as well) and we decided to go sledging! Now the main problem with this was that none of us owned a sledge... So we decided to make some!

We got 3 big plastic lids off the recycling boxes and put a cuchion on top of them. We then bound them up with a couple of bin bags and "voila!" 3 little sledges! We took then over to Elmdon park to try them out. About a million other people had the same idea though but we decide to try them out....

... They didn't work. There was too much friction so they didnt slide. We put them back in the car and went for a walk. Whilst we were approaching the top of the hill I had a couple of snowballs whizz past me. I turned around to find about 8 youths, about 15-16, lobbing snowballs at people and shouting and acting like complete dicks. No one was challenging them about it and they were spoiling the day for families by swearing and throwing snowballs at little kids. So I decided to draw their fire a bit... So I started calling them nancy-boys and that got there attention. The inbreds then started throwing big bits of ice at me but couldnt throw for shit, so I kept avoiding them and everytime one landed I would say something like "ooh, so close" or "keep trying, you're getting better" in an overly sarcastic manner. One of the inbreds then got a handful of ice and charged at me... Now I was certain that this would turn in to a fight but he threw the ice at me from a distance of about 6 feet and still managed to miss me. I started laughing and he walked off looking like a prat. We walked off to let the gayboys sulk. We had a wander round and, when we made our way back up to the top. The gayboys returned and threw a couple of missers at me. I didnt acknowledge them so the one crept up behind me. I didnt know he was there until a snowball shot past my left arm. I turned round to find him standing RIGHT behind me! So I said "how the hell did you manage to miss, you utter retard?" which he didnt like but I took a step towards him and he ran off... nob! We decided to call it a day after that. As we were leaving the gayboys decided they'd had enough as well and threw one final snowball which missed me by an inch. Since this was the closest they had come to hitting me they took that as a victory and started laughing in an over-the-top manner. The fact that they had at least 30 attempts to hit me and COMPLETELY FAILED didnt seem to stop them from thinking they were victorious... This was short lived as the one I threw back would have hit the one pleb in the face but he managed to get out of the way. They eventually walked off and so did we.

We decided to get some lunch at the Greville and then in the evening we went bowling in Rubery. All in all it was a good day!

Wednesday. I awoke, like you did, to snow but alas! I checked the radio and the BRMB website and Calthorpe was open!

... D'OH!

I made my way in through the hectic traffic and the arctic conditions and proceeded to do a full days work.... In the snow! Whoever heard of such a thing!?

In the evening I went over to fathers where we watched Terry Pratchett talking about his Alzheimers. I then called in to The Swan to meet up with Donna and co' After coming home I got myself a bite to eat and went to bed.

Thursday. I got up and looked out of the window... Frosty goodness in all its sugary whiteness (and I ain't talkin' 'bout no breakfast cereal!) And then it happened... Phonecall. Snowday.

... WOOHOO!

The day consisted of TV and microwaveable food. In the evening people went to the swan (sans Lank who, quite understandably, didn't want to drive in the harsh conditions) where we were told that, because of the weather and the lack of people the bar would be closing at 10:00pm...

... D'OH!

We drank our fill and at 10:30pm we left. I had walked up rather than ask ma' for a lift as I quite enjoy cold nights. I always seem to feel more comfortable in the cold than I do in the warm...

But on this occasion Carl offered to drop me back and I obliged as even I could see that negotiating icy pavements after 5 pints of Guinness isn't just silly, it's down right SUICIDAL!

Friday. I awoke to slightly less snow and consigned myself to the fact that Calthorpe would be open. I was getting ready for work when I got a phonecall!... Snowday!

... WOOHOO!

I went back to bed for a bit and got up around 10:00am-ish to mess about on the internet watching just about every video on youtube and discovering all sorts of things on wikipedia!

Then I turned the Xbox and played a bit of Halo.

In the evening I went over to Adam and Carls and John had appeared! Yes he was back in Brum' so we celebrated by watching TV! yeah... We know how to live it up...

... Ahem.

I came home at about 11:30pm and went to bed.

saturday. I got up and needed something new to occupy myself with. I had enjoyed playing C&C:RA3 at Kierons so I went in to Solihull to buy it for myself. I was in and out of GAME in Mell Square within 20 minutes.

I came home and played the first few levels before heading over to Adam and Carls (and Johns) with my 360 Hardrive and C&C:RA3 to show it off.

Right. Sunday. This is where it gets strange. After Dinner I went to the legion as usual but because of the blizzard outside we were quite empty... Not totally empty, but a little bit empty. Myself and David (who I work with on a Sunday) felt the onset of boredom... So we decided to stave off the boredom by cutting up boxes to throw away...

... Then it got out of hand...

... I grabbed some plastic cups, and a knife and I just started building...

... The result is below...

Sexy!