Have you ever turned up to a party only to find out that everyone is wearing the same suit as you?

Hello readers. It's time for another marvellous update. Now I know I always blog things during the week first, even if the week hasn't yielded anything too interesting, but not this little blog! I'm going to forget the past week all together and concentrate on the weekend...

(Because that's where the fun started!)

Ok... Friday evening. It was Selena's 21st Birthay party at the Red Lion in Kings Heath. I had been with father earlier on to set up the baby photo's of Selena which I had written a few captions for. I had come back, got changed, and was ready for when the taxi picked myself, mum, Kieron, and Selena for 7:00pm. When we had given the Taxi driver EXTENSIVE directions on how to get there, we set off for the Red Lion....

... In Earlswood.

After telling the driver he was heading in the wrong direction, he turned round and we set off for the correct pub. When we got there, Dad was already there with my nan and my Auntie Jill and Uncle Alf'. Adam turned up a little later and by about 7:45pm the room was filling up nicely with people from PD Architects (where Selena works) plus friends and family.

The disco started at about 8-ish and the buffet soon followed. (Cheese and pineapple, anyone?) There was much merryment to be had by all and I must confess to having a dance or two myself. Whilst on the dancefloor I whipped the ol' camera out for a few pics'

Selena trying to encourange my nan on to the dance floor...

... Which she did, and this was the result! My nan loves the Scissor Sisters! I reckon she would gladly go and see them live if Selena had offered.

Towards the end of the evening, at about 10:30pm, It was time for the cake-cutting. You remember the cake, don't you? if not, scroll down to the previous blog and read it. The musical photoshop trickery picture looked good on top of the cake. In fact I was going to ask that Selena not slice through it! That was, of course, impossible and so it was diced up and fed to everyone... Just think, a piece of artwork I created has now been shat out of the arses of 80 people... God, how I'm proud of that.

I took a quick piccy of Selena about to cut the cake though...



Quite a nice pic' with everyone in the background. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo of the cake whilst it was still intact... Sorry.

At 11:30 everyone started to leave, and we had to get the remaining food from the buffet (of which there was quite a lot) home somehow. It was eventually packed up and the load split between my Grandads car and my dad's. After everyone had gone we too made haste for home. We got back at just gone midnight. I dived in to bed almost immediately as I was knackered (all that dancing did me in, you see...)

Ah... Saturday. I woke up at about 10:00am and did the usual thing... Brekkie, Xbox, Wait for Nan and Grandad to come round etc etc...

... In fact sod it, I'll cut to the chase...

At 6:00pm Jenny turned up in her best dress ready for Ladies Evening at the Chateau Impney in Droitwich. Mum took me, Jenny, and Selena down to my dad's and we had a drink there before we set off. The taxi came at 7:30 and we, along with my dad's next door neighbours (from both sides!) joined us and climbed in to the minibus. We all had our masks with us and we were at the Chateau for about 8:00pm where we were greeted and given a glass of Bucks Fizz. After an hour in the reception area, greeting all my dads mates, and being introduced to people I didn't know, the main doors opened and we were lead in to the grand hall where we stood at our seats and had to "greet the top table, in the traditional fashion" Problem... I had never been before and no one had mentioned what the "traditional fashion was" then everyone started hitting the tables in unison...

Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum...

And the hosts for the evening entered... You could tell that my dads mates were part of the organising though. As well as all the mandatory dinner suits, ceremony and the tradition, everyone was armed with a pea-shooter and lots of ammo! (no, really! I still have mine!) It was fab. We had a mini war going on with the table opposite us at one point!

After everyone was allowed to sit down, the meal began... First, the appetiser course: salmon with cream sauce and mint... Very nice... Then the soup course: minnestroni with croutons, and garnish... Again Lovely. The main course: rack of lamb with full veg' and gravy... I was starting to get full by this point... then dessert: vanilla cheesecake with fruit... Ok, now I was full. Then we had the cheese/biscuits brought round (well, you can't say no to a bit of cheese!) and finally coffee and biscuits. that counted as a 5 course meal and i didn't leave a thing on my plate! (I just wanted as much posh-nosh as I could eat!)

After more pea-shooting we noticed that father, along with the skiing gang, had mysteriously disappeared. Now I have heard the stories about random things happening every year and this year was no exception! The act was introduced as a "Tiller Girl" act and the curtain on the stage went up... To reveal the skiing crew in leotards and pink wigs dancing to some god-awful music...

... Oh my god how i am now traumatised!

Naturally there are photo's but blogger is being a bastard at the moment and won't let me upload any more piccies. I will blog them later.

There was much frivolity and antics, including a version of Deal or no deal on stage (Noel Edmonds not included.) Selena was among the second batch of people to go up and won 50p! hurrah! Everyone then jumped on to the dance floor for the disco! After dancing to all the disco classics, the night was rounded off by a slow-one, and me and Jen' had a dance... (Actually, she isn't half bad at it!)

The time to go home came though and we were in the taxi for about 1:15am. It dropped me and Selena off first, leaving everyone else to be deposited en route back to Kings Heath where I assume Jenny was the last person to be dropped home.

My tux' is now hung up for next year when I will definitely be going again.

Well thats about it for now, readers. I will give you all a "ladies Night Picture Gallery" when Blogger sorts it's self out.

TTFN readers!

And don't forget the joker!

Hello readers. Time for more fun and frolics in this weeks update! I will start precedings from last Monday since that is when I last blogged.

Last Monday evening Myself, John, Marcus, Jenny, and Adam went to see Saw III in Solihull. if you were a fan of the first one, and not to hot about the second, then the third goes some way to replenish the faith in the franchise. It doesn't bother with overly-complicated routines, and just goes for sheer gore factor! The storyline isn't bad either, with clever twists at the end and a grande finale of a scene that rounds off the trillogy nicely...

... Sorry, I appear to have turned in to Barry Norman...

The original is still my favorite though, merely because it is so clever.

As we were walking through Touchwood, John pointed out the drinks stand to me. I took a photo of it from the balcony up by the cinema...


... Now is it just me or is the name "Love Juice" just not the right thing to call a drinks company? Imagine being on a date!

"Here love, do you want a sip of my Love Juice?"
*SLAP!*

Anyway the film was horribly excellent and we made it home for about 1:00am.

I got to bed just in time to catch a good nights sleep before being rudely awakened at 6:00am by a car alarm. It wasn't mine so I ignored it and tried to get back to sleep, ready to get up at 7:00am... Which I did...

... Work was naff as usual... I should have stayed in bed!

In the evening Me, John, and Adam ended up in Weatherspoons in Solihull. We got there for about 8:30pm and found some seats in a nice comfy booth. I was feeling peckish so I grabbed a menu, and by the time I had finished studying it, John and Adam had also caught the munchies-bug! We took up an offer of a burger and a drink for £3.99 (very reasonable) and a good time was had by all. We left at about 10:30 to and watch Wild Boys at Adams house. The 3rd series is just as funny as the first two and we were soon rolling about laughing. We left at about 11:30pm and I was home for 12 middnight.

Wednesday is a bit of a blur and I can't remember what I did, so if anyone who knows can type it in my yellbox, it would be a big help, cheers!

Thursday evening was the one I had been waiting for. I was off to see Motorhead at the Birmingham Academy with Father and Mr Mike Parlett, who is one of the ski group. I got down to dad's for about 6:20pm and we set off towards Shirley (and Mr Parletts house) to get there for 7:00pm. We then piled in to Mike's car and went to pick his mate Roger (without a "d") up from his house. Roger is an old-school rocker and definitely looked the part with his raggy beard and long hair. On the way he was talking about his old motorcycle group "The Dark Eagles" and their rival group "The Old Farts" Yes readers, apparently that is the name of a Motobike club based in Leicester.

We got to the Academy for 7:40pm and made a bee-line for the bar whilst the warm-up acts were on. Whilst there I looked around and there, stood at the bar was John from college! I hadn't seen him in 2 years so we had a good chinwag. When the lights dimmed, and the crowd started to cheer, we took our places for Motorhead. John and his mates stood downstairs, while we went up to the 1st floor balcony to see if we could get a bit closer. Naturally I tried to take photo's but the only half-decent one is the one I have posted for you...



... Not the best is it? Still, it was taken right in the middle of Ace of Spades! They played everything I expected them to except "The Game" which, for some reason, they didn't do. They did, however cover Thin Lizzy's "Roselyn" and did an acoustic version of Overkill, which sounded pretty neat. Of Course "The Ace Of Spades" topped the night and we left very satisfied, and a little deafened. On the way out we lost Roger, and spent an hour looking for him, to no avail! We eventually left, thinking he had probably forgotten he was being given a lift and had caught the bus.

We were home for about 1:00am and I leapt in to bed with my ears still ringing, and still wondering where Roger went. It was a real mystery!

On Friday I got up and went to work as per usual, and spent 20 minutes looking for a place on Woodrush car park. After I had eventually found a space, I discovered that the dozy bint in the space next to it had parked her Super-Thunder-Commander 4X4 at a shit angle and I couldn't get in. I went round the carpark a few more times before letting another dozy bint sod off and nicking her space... From then on the day got progressively worse. By the time the evening came I decided to stay in and play Chromehounds. I was in for a shock! most of the squad have left to join the number 32 squad in the WORLD! nice. And it gets a bit better, because they have invited me to join. Yay!

Now, the weekend...

Saturday was interesting. I went to get Selenas Birthday present. She wanted an SD card for her camera, so I shot over to PC world and got her a 1Gb memory card and while I was there I bought myself a Vision Camera for my 360. It's rather good and I have downloaded a few games of Xbox marketplace that utilize it. After a few hours messing with it I had to get ready to go out. Me, marcus, Adam, and Jenny went to the Peartree in Kings Heath. I drove, and picked Jenny up on the way. We all had planned for something to eat but forgot about it being Saturday...

Saturday + Weatherspoons / cheap drinks = PEOPLE!

We found a seat in the family area and ordered some grub. I had a full rack of spare ribs, and they were bloody lovely!
Afterwards thenumber of people in the place had dwindled slightly and we found some seats near the bar by a nice roaring fire. We left at about 11:00pm and I went home, with Adam and Marcus in tow. I made them a cup of coffee (I make the best coffee in the world!) and they stayed for a bit before heading off. I clambered in to bed for about 1:00am
and fell right to sleep.

Sunday was boring... Had dinner, went to nans as usual.

Monday was Selenas 21st birthday!!! Hoorah! I remember my 21st... And since I know most of you, dear readers, then you probably do as well! Next Friday is her party at the Red Lion in Kings Heath. It should be a good evening.

I would now type more but I'm going out in a bit so I will bid thee farewell, readers. You will have to wait another week or so!

TTFN

Remember remember the thingy of whatsit.

Hello readers and let me start by appologising for being slightly overdue creating this little blog. My reason is that my time has been rather spare this week, but I will start at the begining...

... Last Sunday me and Father went to the MPH06 show at the NEC. We arrived early and went round the classic car show first with father saying things like "I used to own one of those" and "I remember when you'd see these delivering the milk!" you know the sort of thing... After the 5 halls worth of Ford Anglia's and Triumph Stags we got to the show hall where the MPH show was. It was like being on the set of Top Gear whilst tripping on acid... Millions of pounds worth of vehicles and stalls, each competing to be the loudest or most colourful exhibit. I took around 30 photo's, but for the sake of my time (and your sanity) I have only posted you a select few...

The first thing you notice when you enter is a stand devoted to the loudest vehicles on the road. That is to say the loudest sound system, not engine noise... The UK's current record holder is a chav's wet dream on wheels. A proper bass-heavy, super-thunder-mega-blaster sound system with an engine and a steering wheel... Naturaly I took a couple of pics'



Right, see where the passenger seat should be? See all those black things? They're amplifiers! Now it's all very well having a sound system that would repel an army, but sheer power is nothing without something to squeeze it through....

Now I would forgive you if you thought that I had taken a picture of E.Ts living room, but in actual fact thats the boot. the 10 speakers are linked to 10 subs (yes, they have a sub' EACH!) and a synchroniser that has an output to a DVD system (so the lights flash to the beat, and the little screen shows pulses of colour when the music is on)

It is sheer madness... I mean, where does he put the shopping?

As I was doing the rounds of all the stands I came across 3 very special vehicles... All parked up on a single exhibit. I dont think they need any introduction...

Yey! Starskey & Hutch's Ford Grand Torrino! Cue the huge, purple, Huggy-Bear flares!

And here is the General Lee (which kept letting it's horn sound every 20 minutes) All together now "Da-da-da-da dadadada daa-daa-daa-daa!"

And my personal favorite....

It's K.I.T.T (thats "Knight Industries Two-Thousand!") from Knight Rider. Complete with working scanner and sampled voice unit so that everytime someone looked in, they would break a little beam and KITT would say something like "pardon me, but do you know it's rude to stare" in his famous voice... it was proper Bo, I tell thee.

At 11:00am it was time for the first show of the day, held in the MPH arena. Now I said that being in the hall was like being on Top gear whilst off your face, but the show!? Hell, it was like being on Top Gear, off your face on acid, with really loud music and Jeremy Clarkson shouting "POWERRR!" at you and James May pointing at you with a large colourful mango...

... Hang on I've lost my train of thought... Sorry...

We sat down (clutching a pair of 3D glasses we had been given) and the first thing I noticed was a suspended caravan to the left, a large screen centre stage, and a podium underneath it. Clarkson, James May, and Tiff Needel appeared and proceeded to wreak havoc...

They played Car Football with Vauxhall Fox's, had a 3D hologram of an Apache helicopter trying to "shoot" a real Lotus Elise, a parade of the worlds top 10 most expensive cars, strapped a jet engine to a bicycle, and a whole range of other antics (one involvig a motorbike and James May's buttocks...... Don't ask!) There was talk of a special guest at the start of the show and as the end drew near we were wondering who it could be. I thought Richard Hammond might make an appearance, but with the end drawing near there was no sign of anyone. With about 10 minutes left Clarkson called for silence and said "I'm sorry but it's time to introduce someone special... Some say, his Nipples are miniture satalite dishes..."

(The crowd now new who it was)

"... And that his skin has the texture of marmite..."

(*Big Cheer*)

"All we know is... He's called The Stig!"

Next thing we all know is there is a hell of an explosion and the Stig, driving a dune buggy shoots into the air from a hidden ramp mounted UNDERNEATH the front row of seats. The people sitting at the front must have shit themselves at the Stig's head appears from a few feet below their.. uh... feet!

He did the usual bout of stunt driving with big explosions and crazy cornering. The finale' of the show was good though... Remember the suspended caravan I mentioned? the dropped it to the floor with an explosion as the stig blasted through it in his buggy.

Afterwards our tickes got us entry to "The paddock" where all the vehicles used in the show are kept and worked on. Whilst there Jeremy Clarkson was signing autographs. He walked out just behind me and I didn't know until I saw a crowd decend on me like vultures! I turned round to walk right in to him! I told him that I enjoyed the show and he signed my copy of the show guide (which has smudged!) and let the rest of the crowd maul him for a bit.

We walked back through the classic car show and set about getting home. I got back for about 4:30pm and relaxed a bit before going down to my nans for tea.

Monday! I went to work, came home for about 4:30 and sat playing Chromehounds. I was relieved to know that Adam, Marcus, and Jenny had returned from Italy. We all went for a game of Bowling in Rubery and to have a gander at their holiday photos. I hope Adam actually updates his blog with them, they have a few good ones.

Tuesday evening was spent doing much of the same thing... Sorry, not much to blog about.

After coming home from work Wednesday (Hurrah! It's November!) I had a package waiting for me. My mask that I will be using for the Round Table's Charity Masquerade Ball. Most people will be using cheap cardboard ones but I have found a seller on eBay who does custom 17th century style replicas. It was delivered in top condition! It is a "Prince Harlequine" mask and looks really really snazzy!

In the evening I went to dads, but not the quiz.

On Thursday evening in the Swan, I started to get that gritty feeling you get in your throat when you are about to contract a raging bout of something nasty. I stuck it out for the evening but I awoke Friday morning feeling like I had just been hit by a bus! I phoned work to tell them I was not going to be in and went back to bed. I awoke periodically to dope myself with strepsils and couch medicine! at about 3:00pm I got up and faced the world. I decided I wanted something to watch because daytime TV is awful! I mustered up the strength to go in to Solihull and buy Season 2 of Transformers on DVD (well, what with the film coming out next year it has triggered my nostalgia glands!) I came back and put disk one (of the six) in and watched it right through. By the evening my symptoms had started to subside and I went for a quick drink with Adam and Marcus, joined a little later by Jenny after she had finished work.

By Saturday morning I was on the mend and had to collect my new suit from Moss Bros in Birmingham. I collected the jacket and trousers, decided on the shirt I wanted, but was unsure about the bowtie and whether or not I should wear a cumberbund. I had a look at some snazzy modern ones, since I didn't want to go looking like a grandad. I settled on a bow/cumberbund set in dark violet after about 20 minutes trying to decide. I raced home to try it all on together with the shoes I bought the other week. Selena took a photo of me in full "James Bond mode"

I look rather bewildered but thats because the bow tie is restricting the oxygen flow to my brain. The only thing wrong with the suit is the shirt. I bought it based on my collar size (17") but the body of the shirt is massive. Too big to look right so I shot down to Colliers in Kings Heath to see if they could alter it for me. They said that they could and took my measurements. I have to go and collect it next Saturday.

later it was Adams fireworks party (we hold one every year!) so I had stopped off in Kings Heath to buy a few rockets. At 7:30 Jenny and John arrived at my house. We headed off in my car to pick up Marcus and Jo. Marcus had decided that bigger was better and baught a 25 shot cube-like thing and a torpedo.... Yes readers a firework that really was the size of a torpedo. We started small, did the catherine wheels, the candles, lit the sparklers, set a couple of my rockets in to the sky and then decided to blow the crap out of Adams garden. We lit the smaller bomb first...

... Which was big and loud...

... We then lit Marcus's war-head...

... which was a multi-shot firework, it was so loud that you could feel your ear drums shaking, and so bright that you had to look away... Honestly, it was awsome! Afterwards we went to the Red Lion in Shirley for a pint. I came home for about 11:30 and watched some Transformers before going to bed.

I awoke Sunday (yesterday) and stuck on Transformers again to watch. I got through 4 DVD's and am now on the last disk! Hurrah! During the day I decide that I needed to design Selenas' Birthday cake on Photoshop. The picture will be printed and scanned by the Cake Gallery on to icing using edible inks and placed on her cake. I took a rather dodgy screen shot on my phone...

She said from the start that she wanted a musical theme to the cake so I have kept it modern and simple without being boring. In the evening I went to my nans for tea as usual and was relieved to find that "The best of Top Gear" was being shown on channel 4 as a remedy to Heartbeat... Thank god.

I was home for about 10:00 and after swigging a mouthful of cough medicine I went to bed ready for work this morning.

... And it's about there that I will leave you, dear reader. As I'm typing this, Kieron is playing Marvel: Ultimate Alliance on my xbox 360 and I want a go!

TTFN readers.