All aboard the midnight express

Hello again readers. My word! 2 posts in as many days! I rarely do that anymore...

This post needs to be written though as yesterday night was one of totally random happenings. I had completed my previous post "Mr & Mrs" (see below) after coming home from the Legion at 12 midnight, whilst my mother and sister were having a discussion about how to get to the Red Lion pub in Kings Heath. This was followed by a discussion about the quickest way to get to Perfection Snooker Hall in Stirchley. After adding my-two-cents and another alternate route, things started to get a bit hairy and everyone was confident that their way was quicker. Now my mother isn't usually one for moments of random spontaneousness (ooh, new word!) but after arguing with Selena she layed down the gauntlet and made her get in the car to time the journey! I got in aswell, just because I thought it would be fun. We left the house at about 12:30am and got to Perfection Snookerhall at 12:41am. 11 minutes Selenas way, which involved going up to Kings Heath (past the Red Lion) and turning right at the main set of traffic lights. As we passed the Snooker Club I started the stopwatch on my phone. My way is going through Kings Norton and down Bells Lane. On the way back Selena was telling everyone that she had been caught by a speed camera earlier in the day going through Solihull, but it had flashed as she was coming towards it. I said that this was not possible since cameras are designed to photograph the back of cars, and that they did not scan forwards, and on the opposite side of the road. She was adament that it did flash her so I layed down the second gauntlet and bet her that I could go through it from the front at 60mph and it would not fire. We got back home at 12:51, 10 minute journey, I had won by a whole minute to spare (Bloody women!) As we got out of the car Selena reminded me of my bet. I told her and mum to get into my car and dashed inside to get my wallet, since I would need petrol and some air in my tyres. (they were slightly under-pressured, I think I have a weak valve or two.) I got down to Texaco garage on the A435 and stuck £10.00 of fuel in my car and then reveresed up to the air hose. Now, this thing was a pain because you had to set the desired pressure BEFORE putting any money in, but did it tell you this? No. It expected you to be psychic. 2 Minutes of air was 20p which should be enough time for anyone to equalize their tyres...

... After spending £1.20 I finally realised what I was doing wrong and set the gauge correctly and put my money in. I then set off to Solihull. I got to the big island at the top of Blossom Hill Road at 1:20am. I took the first left and Selena said that she would point out where the camera was. It came in to plain view on the opposite side of the road, and it was just sat there looking like it didn't care what speed I was doing. I revved the car up to 60mph and went through....

..... *FLASH*

.... "What the...?"

The bloody thing did indeed photograph cars that were coming towards it! I was now cursing my head off since I was doing 60mph in a 40mph zone. I couldn't believe it. I turned round and decided to see if it would also flash if I went through the camera from behind it, like every other speed camera on the roads. I then considered the possibility that if it did, I could be looking at a hefty fine and points on my licence. I didn't risk it and will wait to see if I get a letter through my door from West Mercia Constabulary, asking me why I drive like a twat. If, however me and Selena do get fined I will contest it since front-flash speed cameras are now illegal (after one person was momentarily blinded by one and crashed.)

After stopping and having a look at the thing (I wanted to see if it looked diferent to a normal camera, but it didn't) I set off back home, driving very carefully indeed. We got back home for 2:30am. I went to bed tired, and annoyed.

I woke-up this morning, still annoyed and lounged about the house. I had dinner and went to work. I came home and decided to go to my nans for tea as usual. This calmed me down some-what.

I am now off to draft a letter of complaint to the speed camera people and will threaten legal action if the flash has caused my retinas any damage (well, you never know! Where there's blame, there's a claim!)

TTFN readers.