Teacher Training? We didn't do anything!

Remember when we had a day off from school because of a "teacher training day"? Well having sampled one, I can tell you that they are an excuse for all the staff to arse around, drinking and having a large dinner... It was really cool! There were some little tasks we had to perform in groups, but nothing difficult. Then it was a word from the Headteacher and then downstairs for a feast complete with wine... All for free. Nice!

I am up the Packhorse later so I will blog anything that happens whilst I am there... You never know.

Right. See you all later.


Quick tip: when evading enemys in the middle of the desert, white is actually the best colour camauflage to use!

The Plough. A nice relaxing family pub.

We all ended up in the plough. I like it there. It has a unique charm. We sat and talked about all sorts of stuff, from black pudding to Doom 3. It was a rather relaxing night.

One topic of conversation that came up was how I act like some sort of grandad.... I dismissed this comment at first but then started to think:

• I drink bitter (generaly considered an old mans drink)
• I work at the legion (full of old people)
• I am currently hard of hearing (an old gentlemans typical disability)

... Shit. I am old way before my time. I really need to live a little and have some fun, but alas [insert sound of violins playing a sad melody here] I have no-one to share it with.... Lots of women tell me that "I'm bound to meet someone special" but none of them would seriously consider me as "boyfriend material." Strange. In fact, now I'm thinking, Has any woman ever looked at me more than once and just for a second, just for the briefest of moments, thought to herself "hmmm... He's alright."............? I wonder...

Well It's coming up to 1am and I have my "Teacher Training day" tomorrow so I'm off to bed.

Did you know: That when viewed through a spectral enhancing telescope, our galaxy is actually beige!

Weedkiller is no substitute for vimto...

... No, really!

Well today was the last day of term. Schools out for 2 weeks and that means no more kiddies so it's easy living for a bit. Although I do have my first ever "Teacher training day" tommorow! (I've always wondered what they did. I will post the results) There's not much else I can say at the moment other than I'm seeing the usual gang later and there was talk of organising a holiday for later in the year... Skiing next week, 5 days at Reading, and now this. I'm living the high life, I can tell you...... (I just wish my wallet was too)

Oh yes, another thing has just popped into my head (by that I mean that a thought particle has struck the memory section of my brain) Please please please please please fill in any comments you may have. I need some feedback so that I can keep this blog fresh and unboring. Who knows, you may get a response to your query in the form of a complete post. yes. you. a reply from me. in full. a whole section of this website devoted to you. yes you.

I have just heard the most beautiful sound in the world..... The *ping* sound of the Microwave so now I'm off to enjoy chinese chicken and noodles, eaten with chopsticks! TTFN

Personalised keyrings are so in this summer......

Well the past few days have been a bit boring really... Went out yesterday to the Red Lion in Shirley with the usual crowd plus Jo who's back from uni'. Hurrah! All I can say is that she got back Sunday, and that was the first day we have had of real sunshine.... Coincidence? I think not.

We had the back room of the pub (which included the jukebox and pool table!) to ourselves for most of the evening (until a load of dickheads came in and screwed up our jukebox selections with their electronic music-shite... See previous post here: http://garethsbrain.blogspot.com/2005/03/electronic-music-piss-off.html to see what I think of this travesty to mankind)

Gemma was impressed with my "G4RETH" keyring that I have. I had to go into Halfords today so while I was there I picked her up a "GEMM4" one to put on her keys. Now she can't say I never do anything for her....

Seeing father later, I must remember to tell him that my car has developed yet another problem (It keeps stalling at junctions.... And no, it isn't my driving it is the car!) and that for some random reason my rear window wiper has decided to join in the fun and has stopped working. It really has to go. I just don't even like driving it anymore. Actually, on that note, I have some good news. I have just accuired my 1st years no-claims bonus (up until 12 months ago I was a named driver on my dad's insurance) so I can now comfortably afford to run a 1.8 Mondeo instead of being limited to a 1.6. This is good because the 1.8 model is far more common than the 1.6 and has better options. This, coupled with my registration plates, will make for a fine vehicle. I might go a bit further and get a custom gear-stick, and shiny pedals just to give it some flair...... I will keep you all posted on this as this happen.


I am going skiing next week so I wont be blogging but I will post any/all good stories on here when I return.

Quick tip: If you and another person are trying to outrun a tiger, remember that you only need to outrun the other person.....

Electronic music? Piss off!

Thursday night was good. Mr Joe Lynock, who I haven't seen since my GNVQ at collage, made an appearance in the Packhorse. Truly a funny funny guy, lets hope he comes out more often. Donna's night out on friday at Barracuda was OK, the drinks weren't badly priced but the repetetive electronic techno-shite that they call music put a downer on the evening. It just sounds like someone putting up a shelf, with just one "beep" sound and a constant "bss bss bss bss bss bss bss" noise playing through the obscenely sized speakers. Just think, some dickhead got paid thousands of pounds for doing that... Not being an afficionado of Birmingham night-life, I was wondering if there is some sort of club that specializes in being a nice place, with decent rock music, without attracting the local army of undead (i.e Goths) I fear not... Its one end of the scale or the other; the army of undead or the Burberry cladded minions of Chavsville. You just can't win these days.

Well my beloved readers, there is more happening on the new car front. I almost actually bought one today! However, I might hold out a bit longer so as to secure a magnificent bargain. I would rather wait and get a fantastic car, than rush in and get a "quite good" car.

I'm going to sign off...

Quick tip: Never order spaghetti in a restaurant. You look like a pleb when trying to eat it.

The sound of silence...

Well I was going to add some music for your listening pleasure but, like most things in life, it hasn't worked properly so, dear reader, you will just have to whistle to yourself while you read through this post or put a CD on... Yeah, that might be a better idea actually. go on, put a CD on....

The Masons arms..... What a shit hole!

Lank's new computer arrived today. A Dell Dimension Something-or-other. Nice PC. I went round and got it set up for him and then went up Solihull. Me, John, Adam, Carl, and Gemma were sat in the Masons (which is an absolute desolate waste-land of a pub, I can tell you) talking about tattoos. I sketched a few ideas out and she quite liked the one of a shooting-star-circley-thing I did so she made me draw it in biro on her forearm....! crazy.

She then started talking about frogs and how they scare her... When I came home guess what I found sitting by the porch door?


Boo!

Sorry Gem' I couldn't resist it..... (but doesn't my porch look all manky in that photo?)

On to more pressing matters... I woke up this morning completely deaf! I think I have an ear infection in my right ear... It is red, puffy, and it hurts... Nice (now you are thinking "completely deaf? whats wrong with his other ear?" and the answer is that I have a deafness in my left ear... It's true. While I can hear with it, everything is muffled and faint.... Bet you didn't know that!)

Right. Thats all for now, I'm going to bed............


Did you know: Contarary to urban myth, a duck's quack does echo, just like any other noise.

Well my new passport arrived in time for me to go skiing at easter. The last time I was in Austria I was stopped at customs because they reckoned that my passport photo wasn't me... You can see why, can't you?

17 years old.... And half asleep


I was about 8-and-a-half stone in weight, pale, and couldn't punch my way through a paper bag..... 6 years later and I have "over compensated" in the weight department, I'm a healthy shade of brown, and can now give paper bags a run for their money!

I'm struggling to pad this out, now...... Give me a sec'...............









..... Ah yes! my car has had a good clean and is ready for sale! I won't advertise it until I see a car I like, but be asured, the Golf will be gone as soon as possible.

For your further pleasure, dear reader, I have listed in order my car preferances:

Ford Mondeo 1.6 Zetec
Audi A4 1.6
Vauxhall Vectra 1.6
Honda Accord 1.6
Vauxhall Astra 1.6 Sports Hatchback
(can you see a pattern forming?)
Honda Civic 1.6
Mitsubishi Charisma 1.6i
Wheelbarrow
Rover 415 1.6

Post a comment and let me know if you have any quick-tips on the above cars...


Always remember: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Comic Relief

Howdy! Well the comic-relief bug hit me so I decided to dye my beard red. Unfortunately it went purple, "Billy Connelly-styley!" I must point out that I didn't get sponsored for it, I just decided to do it for a laugh... You know what I'm like.


It was supposed to be red, but it went purple.




Close-up!


.... Finished laughing, have we? Right, on to a serious yet happy bit of this update. Today at school (i.e Work) I took an entire art lesson for the last hour! yes, me, I was actually teaching! The regular art teacher (Mrs Jukes, very nice lady) was in the classroom as well, but I took the lesson. It was quite fun instructing everyone on how to paint still-life pieces and dealing with the usual art studio rowdiness.

Changing topic again, I have my car back! New Carburettor, new air filter, new accelerator cable (I think) and I asume they have changed my brake cable because when i drove it to the Legion this evening, I ended up stopping six-feet short of where I wanted to come to a halt (namely, the end of Gorsey lane.)

Im off now to try and wash this purple shite out of my beard... It's starting to annoy me.

quick thought: If you discovered an alien spaceship in a field, would you still describe it as a UFO?

Work blog

This is the first blog I have ever done from work.... I'm on a lunchbreak, so I thought I would give a review of the day so far............ "crap" is the word that springs to mind!

Ah well... Better get back to supervising the kiddies........

Birthday boy blues

23 at last! Although I don't feel much older, I am sure that my belly is suddenly a lot hairier. I will check. I had vouchers and money and a few books, one of which is titled "Things a man should know about style" which isn't very flattering (although it is rather helpful!)

On to more direct matters, my car has a new carburretor! It is being fitted tomorrow and will be back on the road within 24 hours! The door will be sprayed in and it can be got-rid of. New car, here I come!

Now that will be a good birthday present.

Just a run-of-the-mill update... Don't get excited.

Firstly, let me appologise for not blogging since tuesday. (Lank was truly dissapointed as he had nothing to read at work on Wednesday morning!) The fact is that during the week very little happens to me.... But not yesterday. Yesterday I booked, and paid for, my ticket to Reading so I am officially going... Now all I need is a tent..... And a sleeping bag.....

On to more pressing matters, I finally accuired a carburettor for my little car. (Thanks dad!) I will have it fitted by the end of next week (with a bit of luck) and can get rid of it...... That reminds me, I really should start hunting the garages for second-hand cars. I haven't been for a week or two so I must find the time to get out there and find myself a "pukka motor"

Right.... I'm falling asleep at my computer so I am off to bed.

Cirque Du Soleil.

Well..... Words fail me. This show has to be seen to be believed! This Circus is amazing. The performers are the absolute very best in their field, the audience participation is on a new level, the music is performed live by an in-house band, and there are no "run-of-the-mill" acts.

The show, which lasts 2 hours (with a 30 minute interval) is just non-stop action. I can honestly claim to have seen the best acrobats in the world... A team of 20 doing flips, jumps, and balancing acts... All at the same time, in an area only just bigger than a standard livingroom!

The best juggler in the world, juggling 15 balls, whilst tap-dancing! and then she did "reverse juggling" where instead of throwing the balls up in the air, she bounces them off the floor....... And then she did both at the same time (I can't explain it properly)

The best clown in the world... A guy who does his own sound effects (like that bloke from police academy) who got members of the audience doing all manner of strange things in time to music.

The best trapeze artistes in the world, 4 women who incorporate trapezes plus bungee cords and a sort of "indoor formation skydiving routine. Honestly, I can't remember watching a show this breathtaking.

Cirque Du Soleil (or "The circus of the sun") is on at Star City until the end of March.

Go and book tickets, NOW! trust me. You will not be disapointed!

To find out more about this fantastic show visit http://www.cirquedusoleil.com