Christmas isn't chrismas without a drunk grandparent.

Hello readers. It's been 9 days since I updated but I purposely left it so that I can blog a fair bit, rather than 2 posts about not very much at all...

So we will start last saturday, when a whole host of the regular crowd went up Solihull. lank gave me and Dan a lift and we were in Rosie's (yes, I know it's chav central but thats where everyone decided we go) for 7:30. We met up with Jason and Gemma and started drinking without the others (well, it's what they would have wanted!) As the doors opened, we moved up to the Club... Loft, no Loaf, no wasn't it Bread? then it was Reflex at Loft, or was it Bread at Reflex?.... Actually it's now "Pop World"... Joy! (<-- sarcasm) Soon after we got there, Mark and Kate, Mattew and Naomi, and Benji and Katie turned up and we gathered at a table in the chavvy bit. It didn't take long for me, Jason, Gemma, lank, and Daniel to go off in to the '80's part and were bopping along to all sorts of classics. At one point we got hold of a set of comical glasses...

... Yes, dear readers... I have photo's...

Mr B. has always been an Elton fan... Now he's started copying his style!

Lank in full bop'!

At one point, they started playing 50's style Rock n Roll and so I grabbed Kate for a quick spin on the dance floor (bet you didn't know I can rock n rol did you readers? Well I can, sort of, thanks to expert tuition by Donna, ages ago!) At the end of the evening we all went our seperate ways, and I was home for about 1:30am...

... Ready to wake up at about 10:00am Sunday morning, where I spent ages wrapping everyone's Christmas pressies. I made a promise to myself that I would try and be organised this year, and I think I have been. I had a lazy day Sunday because I had to travel to Droitwich in the evening for a works Christmas party at a member of staff's house. Getting there is a story in it's self...

I set off at 6:30pm with my route written down and got in to Droitwich centre no problem, but then things started to go wrong... Now I don't know if you have ever been in to Droitwich, dear reader, but if you ever do then there are three oddities about the place you should know...

1. Street names are no not visible from the road, until you have past the junction
2. All road signs indicate every place in the universe, exept the place that you are going
3. No houses, at all, ever, in Droitwich, display their house number

Now because of those 3 little things I got hopelessly lost and was driving around in circles. Finaly I admitted defeat and parked up to call Richard (who's house it was) for directions. I called up his number on my phone and pressed "dial"...

.... *Beep beep* "the number you have dialled has not been recognised..."

"doh!"

I tried again...

... *Beep beep* "the number you have..."

Oh bugger! I had to phone Sally (head of Art, who lives in Droitwich) and ask her for directions. Fortunately she knew where to go and i got to the correct road in no time...

... But then point number 3 came in to play... which blasted house!? I started counting the houses and got to the one I thought was correct. there were a few cars outside it, so I knocked on the door. Success! It was the right house so I went in, and joined some of the other staff from school who were already enjoying the home made curry that was laid out for us. We all had a good time, and at one point the karaoke machine was bought out for a go. I didn't sing as I would have probably bought the evening to a premature conclusion. After the food, music and chit-chat it was time to leave, at a rather modest 10:30. I got home with no problems and watched a bit of Top gear before going to bed.

Monday and Tuesday at work were just 2 days of DVD's in lessons and not doing any work... I wil skip to yesterday, which was a bit more fun. there were no lessons, just an assembly for each of the 3 houses, (Brindley, Lanchester, and Cadbury) and then just dossing about in forms watching films. We played the year 10's Shrek and then put Peter Kay on. At lunch time we kicked everyone out and had a staff lunch with just the arty people and a few select members of staff. Elanor had bought me a christmas present and I was instructed to open it... She had bought me some racing grannies! I set up a race way (using tape and sugar-paper!) and we had a few races over lunch. At 2:00pm all the kiddies got to go home and it was time for the usual party in the staff room. we had speeches for staff who were leaving, and decided that after the speeches we would go up to the Packhorse. We were there for about 3:30pm, and left at 5:00pm... Unfortunately we were all driving so we couldn't get mashed anyway, but it was still fun.

I went home to get ready for the evening because Me, Donna, Donnas parents, Lank, Daniel, Lanks friend Jo, Jason and Gemma were all off to the NEC for Jasper carrots Rock with laughter Christmas tour...

We arrived at the NEC for just after 6:30pm with the intent on meeting people in the main entrance. This went to pot when we realised that the arena was too big to meet anyone, with all the people walking round. We met up with Jason and Gemma by the staris to the seats so we went in and sat down. a few minutes later, Lank, Jo, and dan joined us, while Neil and Maggie were seated over the other side of the arena!

The warm-up act was a geordie with a guitar... He was singing a song called "everybody wants to be a bear" while people were still being seated. Quite funny.

When the lights dimmed, Jasper walked on and did a turn, and introduced the first act, an Abba tribute band called Bjorn Again who were quite good, then we had a turn from Lenny Henry, Journey south (those two from the X factor) the Royal Ballet, and Jimmy Carr. After the interval we had more Jasper, plus a suprise guest Ben-thingy-whatsit who was voted off X factor, Jethro, Roy Wood (who was playing with his Rock and Roll band, and finished off with "I wish it could be christmas every day") and the show was topped with Suzi Quattro, dressed in a leather cat suit and not looking a day over 50.......

... yes, you can imagine it, can't you...

After the final encore the lights went up and we started the long walk back to the carpark. Neil and Maggie were already there and me and Donna dived in because by that point we were freezing! They dropped me home where I made myself a hot drink before going to bed...

All in all a fantastic night was had by everyone. (I am definately going next year!)

And so that is where I will leave you dear readers. If I don't blog before, Have a very Merry Christmas, and a fantastic new year...

TTFN

'tis the season shops raise prices, fah-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-laaaa.

Hello readers. It's the 10th of December, my christmas decorations aren't up and I've done absolutely no christmas shopping...

... Yes. I am a man...

...Right, on with the blog...

...Um... Actually I don't have much to blog about so I will randomise and think out loud for a bit. (just like my very first blog says! Go on, have a look if you don't believe me.)

Right, well, I suppose I had better make this random jumble of words into something you can read...

Ok, well at the moment I am selling the old camera I found in the stock room at Woodrush on Ebay. The money it sells for will be used to part-fund a staff meeting. (For those of you who aren't up to speed with the lingo, all staff meetings involve alchohol!... In fact, do you remember all those "staff training days" that the staff used to have at the end of half term? well they are basically a big free lunch, and more wine, beer, and cocktails than anyone could imagine!) I hope it makes a good price, it is only the second item I have ever sold on Ebay. The first was my degree piece (the furry car) but no one actually bought it.

On Friday (I'll just skip to the weekend) Me, John, Marcus, and Jenny went ice-skating in Solihull. We got there for about 7:30 and dived straight on to the ice. I had to swap my skates after about half an hour because the left one was digging in to my shin. It's remarkable, because I have the same thing happen to my left ski boot, unless I store it properly with the straps tightened to hold the inner boot in place. But the skates were changed and I got a new pair from the girl behind the counter. I wanted to have a real good go but being a Friday it was packed with chavs and people who can actually skate. I'd like to go when it's quiet so that I could practice a bit and have a real good go because I imagine it's really good fun if you can do it well.
After a couple of hours sliding along the ice, we left and went for a chinese. Adam joined us for some grub and we ate until we were bursting, which is what most people do when they eat chinese. We got home for 11:30pm and I dived in to bed, since skating and chinese food is the best combination for tiring people out.

Um... Other than that, the only other thing that has happened this week was yesterday evenings frivolity in Wolverhampton. Me, Jason, and Gemma went to see Adrenaline at the Little Civic. We got there for about 6:50pm and had a drink in the downstairs bar. At 7:30pm we went upstairs where the stage is and the first band (who were shit) came on a little while later. When they had finished bawling and jumping around the stage, they fucked off and let the second band have a go... They were better. And then at about 9:30-ish Adrenaline came on and played through until 11:00pm. When it was time to leave, we dived in to a cab and set off for home. £35 from Wolverhampton to Birmingham isn't a bad price, split 3 ways it worked out quite reasonable. I was home for 12:30 and dragged my self off to bed since I was partly inebriated by alchohol! Actually, as i sit here typing this, the effect of last night hasn't quite gone yet, which would explain the lack of detail, humour, or continuity in this passage of writing...

In fact since I have covered the basics, I wil leave it there readers. I'll quit while I'm ahead.

TTFN.

It's OK, stormtroopers can't shoot for shit, anyway.

Hello readers. 'tis time for some blogging...

At the end of my last blog I promised you a Gallery for ladies evening, and, true to my word, here it is...

I mentioned that Father was part of a drag act on the evening... Well here's the proof! He's the one on the right! (shameful... Just shameful)

This is a photot of a photo. Me and Jenny in our masks.

These next few are off Selenas camera. Me and Jen' at my dad's house waiting to go.

Me, Selena, and dad

Dad and Selena at the table

There we go readers. All Good... Now I can get on with this weeks blog! Last weekend was James birthday and he had his party at Wythall House. I arrived there at about 8:00pm and within half an hour the buffet was served... Which was good because I was starving. The disco started and spent most of the evening playing songs from way before any of us were born...

I have a photo for you all to enjoy...

Jenny, Julia and Lee gawping at a camera... By the look on Julias face, the picture they are looking at is pretty shocking!

ha ha! Anyway, after getting slighty merry and doing a few rounds of heluium, we all left at around midnight. I got a lift with Kate in her new Toyota Yaris... But thought it was a Peugeot... Oops. I got in and went to bed ready for the Sunday...

Because Sunday was... MEMORABILIA! woohoo!

I went to get John and shot over to Adams for about 10:00am and we set off for Marcus's house to get him and Jenny... The problem being that they were all the way back at Jenny's house... So we agreed that they would meet us at the NEC. We eventually got there for 11:00am and was in the exhibition for 11:30am. As we went in we saw the Tardis and a couple of Daleks, then went over to the new section that housed most of the famous people. I nearly walked in to Toyah Wilcox trying to get a glimpse of Lady Penelope's Rolls Royce... which was rather Fab' (hey-hey... Fab "FAB 1" get it? did you see the clever thing that I did there?)

Ahem...

We walked round for an hour, looking at all the collectors selling their junk for lots of money and looking at all the famous people... I walked up to David Prowse (Garth Vader meets Darth vader!) but he bored me so I walked off. I caught the eye of "Smokin'" Joe Frazier but couldn't speak to him because of the queue for his autograph. I wanted to walk up to Leslie Philips and introduce myself by going "Well, helloooh'" (his old catch phrase, for those who don't know who he is) but refrained from it as he might have got a bit annoyed... Walking round I noticed there was lots of Bond memorabilia due to the release of Casino Royale. I then heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire, coming from the back of the hall...

... It was an indoor shooting range! Replica weapons, powered by gas, firing rubber bullets...

... I had to have a go!!!!!!

I paid a bloke dressed like Bond for a go with a Sig Sauer pistol... And this was the result...

Check out the bullseye! He was actually impressed with my grouping. At a range of 50 yards most people apparently have trouble firing pistols unless they have been trained how to shoot professionally.

After walking back round and stopping to get a drink (where I saw Danny John-Jules ((the cat from red dwarf)) walk past the bar) I went back because I wanted a go with an assault rifle.

And this is the result of that little encounter...

Yeah, I'm pretty impressed with that. Obviously the rifle was a lot more stable than the Sig' I had a few shots on Semi' and then flicked it over to automatic and emptied the clip in sustained bursts of gunfire. The recoil wasn't really an issue due to the weight of the gun and it was comfortable to fire.

We left at about 4:00pm and everyone came back to my house for a bit before grabbing some food and heading home, while I went down to my nans for tea as usual.

... That concludes last week... I suppose I should blog right up to now... So I will...

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Yesterday were all boring. Nothing happened except that yesterday evening I went out with Katie, Jason, Gemma, Jenny and Marcus to the Barn in Solihull for a drink... Then I came home, went to bed ansd got up this morning and went with selena to the Snowdome because she wants to buy some snowblades for Skiing next year. Unfortunately, the Snowdome charge an arm and a leg for snowblades (still I suppose if that was the case, you'd only have to buy one!) so we called in to Widney Sports for a look at some cheaper ones. She still didn't get any though so I suppose it was a wasted trip... Ah well, it got me out of the house for a couple of hours...

Anyway, I am going out in a bit... So I wil sign off

TTFN readers.

Have you ever turned up to a party only to find out that everyone is wearing the same suit as you?

Hello readers. It's time for another marvellous update. Now I know I always blog things during the week first, even if the week hasn't yielded anything too interesting, but not this little blog! I'm going to forget the past week all together and concentrate on the weekend...

(Because that's where the fun started!)

Ok... Friday evening. It was Selena's 21st Birthay party at the Red Lion in Kings Heath. I had been with father earlier on to set up the baby photo's of Selena which I had written a few captions for. I had come back, got changed, and was ready for when the taxi picked myself, mum, Kieron, and Selena for 7:00pm. When we had given the Taxi driver EXTENSIVE directions on how to get there, we set off for the Red Lion....

... In Earlswood.

After telling the driver he was heading in the wrong direction, he turned round and we set off for the correct pub. When we got there, Dad was already there with my nan and my Auntie Jill and Uncle Alf'. Adam turned up a little later and by about 7:45pm the room was filling up nicely with people from PD Architects (where Selena works) plus friends and family.

The disco started at about 8-ish and the buffet soon followed. (Cheese and pineapple, anyone?) There was much merryment to be had by all and I must confess to having a dance or two myself. Whilst on the dancefloor I whipped the ol' camera out for a few pics'

Selena trying to encourange my nan on to the dance floor...

... Which she did, and this was the result! My nan loves the Scissor Sisters! I reckon she would gladly go and see them live if Selena had offered.

Towards the end of the evening, at about 10:30pm, It was time for the cake-cutting. You remember the cake, don't you? if not, scroll down to the previous blog and read it. The musical photoshop trickery picture looked good on top of the cake. In fact I was going to ask that Selena not slice through it! That was, of course, impossible and so it was diced up and fed to everyone... Just think, a piece of artwork I created has now been shat out of the arses of 80 people... God, how I'm proud of that.

I took a quick piccy of Selena about to cut the cake though...



Quite a nice pic' with everyone in the background. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo of the cake whilst it was still intact... Sorry.

At 11:30 everyone started to leave, and we had to get the remaining food from the buffet (of which there was quite a lot) home somehow. It was eventually packed up and the load split between my Grandads car and my dad's. After everyone had gone we too made haste for home. We got back at just gone midnight. I dived in to bed almost immediately as I was knackered (all that dancing did me in, you see...)

Ah... Saturday. I woke up at about 10:00am and did the usual thing... Brekkie, Xbox, Wait for Nan and Grandad to come round etc etc...

... In fact sod it, I'll cut to the chase...

At 6:00pm Jenny turned up in her best dress ready for Ladies Evening at the Chateau Impney in Droitwich. Mum took me, Jenny, and Selena down to my dad's and we had a drink there before we set off. The taxi came at 7:30 and we, along with my dad's next door neighbours (from both sides!) joined us and climbed in to the minibus. We all had our masks with us and we were at the Chateau for about 8:00pm where we were greeted and given a glass of Bucks Fizz. After an hour in the reception area, greeting all my dads mates, and being introduced to people I didn't know, the main doors opened and we were lead in to the grand hall where we stood at our seats and had to "greet the top table, in the traditional fashion" Problem... I had never been before and no one had mentioned what the "traditional fashion was" then everyone started hitting the tables in unison...

Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum...

And the hosts for the evening entered... You could tell that my dads mates were part of the organising though. As well as all the mandatory dinner suits, ceremony and the tradition, everyone was armed with a pea-shooter and lots of ammo! (no, really! I still have mine!) It was fab. We had a mini war going on with the table opposite us at one point!

After everyone was allowed to sit down, the meal began... First, the appetiser course: salmon with cream sauce and mint... Very nice... Then the soup course: minnestroni with croutons, and garnish... Again Lovely. The main course: rack of lamb with full veg' and gravy... I was starting to get full by this point... then dessert: vanilla cheesecake with fruit... Ok, now I was full. Then we had the cheese/biscuits brought round (well, you can't say no to a bit of cheese!) and finally coffee and biscuits. that counted as a 5 course meal and i didn't leave a thing on my plate! (I just wanted as much posh-nosh as I could eat!)

After more pea-shooting we noticed that father, along with the skiing gang, had mysteriously disappeared. Now I have heard the stories about random things happening every year and this year was no exception! The act was introduced as a "Tiller Girl" act and the curtain on the stage went up... To reveal the skiing crew in leotards and pink wigs dancing to some god-awful music...

... Oh my god how i am now traumatised!

Naturally there are photo's but blogger is being a bastard at the moment and won't let me upload any more piccies. I will blog them later.

There was much frivolity and antics, including a version of Deal or no deal on stage (Noel Edmonds not included.) Selena was among the second batch of people to go up and won 50p! hurrah! Everyone then jumped on to the dance floor for the disco! After dancing to all the disco classics, the night was rounded off by a slow-one, and me and Jen' had a dance... (Actually, she isn't half bad at it!)

The time to go home came though and we were in the taxi for about 1:15am. It dropped me and Selena off first, leaving everyone else to be deposited en route back to Kings Heath where I assume Jenny was the last person to be dropped home.

My tux' is now hung up for next year when I will definitely be going again.

Well thats about it for now, readers. I will give you all a "ladies Night Picture Gallery" when Blogger sorts it's self out.

TTFN readers!