Who ya' gonna call?

Howdy readers. Time for a quick blog.

Yesterday evening Benji and I went ghost hunting at Tamworth caslte! We set off at 5:30pm and got on to the M42. I had just given Benji an estimate of the time we would be at the castle when I realised that I had missed the turning I wanted and ended up on the M6. (I hate the way the M42 splits off its self, it really is crap.) After doing a bit of Jiggery-pokery with a couple of junctions and a stretch of the A556, I got us back on track. We reached the car park at 6:30pm and walked up to the castle. There were people waiting outside and they all looked ready to start catching ghosts (or spirits. There is a very distinct difference, apparently!) Everyone had torches and warm clothes (One woman had brought an industrial spotlight lantern!.. She was told by the guide that it was a bit "exessive")

We were let in at 7:00pm by "Carol" who worked at the castle and was a practicing medium. (She had already qualified as a small...! ha-ha... sorry.) We were seated in the great hall in a semi-circle and were given coffee. Carol then introduced Paul, who was the host and also a medium. The mandatory health & safety talk was given and we spent 10 minutes chatting and asking him questions (such as "what do you think of Derek Accorah?" since Most Haunted did a programme in Tamworth castle, and Carol had been on T.V!) We then started the "History Tour" led by Carol and another lady (who wasn't a medium, but she had seen and heard things whilst working at the castle at night.) This lasted about an hour, Carol was "sensing energy" in most of the rooms, and it set the mood for the rest of the evening. After the history tour it was back in to the hall for coffee and cake. Paul then introduced the main psychic/medium of the evening. "Ian" was a short bloke in his early fifties and looked a bit like Dennis from Auf Wiedersehen, pet. He was from Lincolnshire and has been a working medium for about 15 years.

He started by answering questions from the group. One guy, who was dressed in an anorak/ bobble-hat ensemble and resembled a train-spotter having an evening off, asked about the difference between ghosts and spirits. Ian explained it like this:

Everyone emits an energy. This energy is commonly called an "aura" and has the capacity to record every single piece of information about you from the day you were born until the day you die. When you cease to exist, the aura remains behind and finds a place (or even places) where it feels comfortable. Because it records emotions, injuries, thoughts, e.t.c, parts of it will settle in a particular place relevent to it, or, it can divide and the individual thoughts and feelings will find places relevent to them. It then remains as an energy form. This residual energy is a ghost. It is not sentient, it can not talk to a medium. The meduim has to read the energy aura to find out what the person was like. (I.e good, bad, depressed, happy e.t.c.) Thus, a "ghost" is nothing more than a persons aura being bound to a place or object. It can not move, it is a totally localised entity that acts as a "spiritual fingerprint" of the person it was once part of. This actually has a basis in science. Physics tells us that you cannot create or destroy energy, merely move it from place to place. when a person dies, the energy that surrounds the body has to go somewhere. It cannot simply "stop being energy"

On the other hand, a spirit is a sentient being capable of communication, interaction, and in some cases, possesion. The spirit of a person does not need to be created via a sudden or unexpected death (as is widely believed) and the whole "unfinished business" thing is, apparently, a load of bollocks. A spirit is not "waiting to go to heaven" at all. It is created when the energy within the body is so strong that it remains after death and is imprinted with the memory of the person. However... Because spirits are removed from emotion and needs, as well as the perception of time (because such thoughts are not transfered) they perceive everything in their own time period and do not adjust to changes made to the world. This actually goes a long way to explain the whole "walking through walls" thing. In actual fact, spirits do NOT walk through walls at all. Let us imagine a house with a long entrace hall in the early Edwardian period. Now let us imagine that a man of very good nature dies in that house and his spirit remains. Centuries later, when the house is in need of desperate structural work, it is re furbished, but the entrace hall is split in to two seperate rooms with the addition of a modern wall. The spirit of the man who once walked the entrance hall will still be able to traverse it as one room, but in doing so, he will have to pass through the new wall. Although to him it is not there because it was not there at the time the spirit was created... Simple!

After all this explaining had finished it was time to set off again on the walk. We followed Paul first up to one small room to recieve our equipment. He produced a tub of assorted electronics, and everyone could pick one item. There were "ambient-probe thermometers" "laser controlled surface thermometers" and "ultra low EMF scanners" I chose an EMF (Electro Magnetic Field) scanner, (just like this one) and Benji chose a laser thermometer, (just like this one!)

Before we left the room we set up some "control objects." Some coins and a goblet were placed on a piece of paper and traced round, by a member of the group. the keys to the room were given to another member of the group who locked the room behind them....

We set off and did the same rooms as the history tour, all be it in a slightly different order. Ian was leading the way, and Paul was making sure no one got left behind. Various ghosts were detected by Ian who told us names and places or various people. The first real spirit, however, didn't show its self until the 4th or 5th room. when we entered we were told to stand perfectly still. It was dark, but not pitch black... Quiet. Ian started asking the spirit questions and if it could pespond... Quiet. Then he started going on about a lady... More quiet.......

.......................................................................................................... *ping*

Every single woman (and a few blokes) went ballistic! absolutely bricking it was the anorak, who was the first out the door... Ian and Paul assured us that it wasn't a malevolant spirit and it was a perfectly normal response, in a voice that didn't seem bothered at all.

After he had settled everone down we continued. Everyone got the chance to "stand in energy" which had the effect of one girl having to sit down because she felt ill. Ian explained that she was more "receptive" at this sort of thing and it had overwhelmed her senses.... apparently. He was then pointing out where the spirit energies were and, apparently there was a little girl sitting in the chair on the right of this table.

I took the picture with my phone just in case anything actually turned up on the photo. Alas I did not capture a ghost on my phone. In fact I'm not quite sure what I would have done if I had, come to think of it...

Ah, well it was worth a go.








More rooms, more knocks and bumps. People were becoming used to it and started to enjoy the evening. I was still a little un-convinced when we returned to the hall at 11:30pm for a break. We were then asked if we would like to go anywhere else, with a member of staff, for another look at a particular room. One bedroom was meant to be quite good for getting spirity things going on so Carol took about 8 of us up for another scan...

... And then it happened. It was quite warm in the room, because the heating was on, but as I walked round I hit a spot that was extemely cold. Cold as in "bloody hell it's a bit nippy over here" yet the heater, that was keeping the rest of the room warm, was no more than 10 feet away. People laser scanned it and sure enough, that one spot on the floor was about 4 degrees colder than a spot 4 feet away... and the cold spot was closer to the heater! I moved out of it and held my hand out to where I was standing and by the time I pulled it away, my right hand was significantly colder than my left..... strange.

I kept an open mind and we headed back down to the hall at 12:00 midnight for the next part of the evening. Ian explained that they would be starting the "Vigils." Not exactly a seance, but something to envoke energy (or something like that, I wasn't paying attention.)

We split in to 2 groups. Ian had the first half of the group, which me and Benji were in, while Paul had the other. The plan was to swap half way through so that every person went round with both mediums.

Ian had people stood holding hands (I made sure I was between two girls for this!) and standing quietly while he asked for any energies to appear to him. We did this in multiple rooms and at one point he had Benji standing in a spirit energy to see if it could manipulate him.... (nice!) The spirit either didn't like him or wasn't interested so left him alone. In various rooms people were complaining of a sudden wave of nausea when they entered, and some got a headache in a particular spot, which Ian described as being common... Strange.

The really interesting stuff happened when we all changed, though. We swapped at about 12:30 and went with Paul up to one of the smaller bedrooms that we had been in before. Paul used the "ball of light technique" which the circle of people (holding hands) imagined a ball of light above their heads. They then mentally passed that ball to the person on their left, and thus create an invisible ring of light above the group. we then had to "breathe in" some of the light which was very good for making you feel like a complete berk. He then challenged the spirits to tough somebody...

... All of a sudden a lady called Bernardette started to sway and complain of feeling dizzy... And then she fainted! proper out cold. Paul had to carry her out. I was on the verge of saying that perhaps she was a plant, and was supposed to faint on demand. This all went out the window when I saw her afterwards. She had red eyes, her glands were swollen, and she was shaking, as well as feeling very cold. If she was acting, it was a bloody-good performance! Paul said that she was in "Full-trance" and that he had only ever seen it happen once before. Whilst in there I decided to try another photo in the pitch black "Just in case" and this is the result.....


.... And it looks rather interesting. The brownish area in the lower left is the floor. To my right, out of shot, is a bed. And I was facing a dark red wall. I'm not sure what the white object is! the only white object in the room was a lady stood behind me in a cream-coloured fleece. I showed it to Paul afterwards and he seemed interested. Hey, if I can help solve hard-hitting spiritualist questions about the after-life, then thats fine by me!




We carried on to a large room with all display cases in it. Bernardette rejoined us after about 20 minutes and sat on one of the seats. We started the "ball of light" thing again and about 2 minutes in we heard this strange "sucking" noise coming from the corner. Bernadette was at it again and this time sounded like she was being strangled. 4 people carried her down stairs whilst I led the way with my torch. Ian, who had finished before us, met us in the hall and the look on his face was actaully quite worried. He went all "Derek Accorah" on us and started shouting at the spirit to "get out" and "leave her alone", yadda-yadda-yadda. It was now about 1:15am so we gathered round, while Bernardette was recovering, to go and do the last part of the evening.... Glass tipping.

Our gadgets were collected in and we went back to check the trigger objects. None had been tampered with... Bugger.

We then went in to the guard room, which we had not been in to, to start. Ian asked for 4 volunteers, of which I was one, to place a finger on the glass on the table in the centre of the room. We did. Now it must be pointed out that I wasn't willing to believe this would work so I sneakily felt under the table to make sure there was anything rigged. There wasn't. I then tested how easy it was to push the glass when your finger is on top of it, rather than on the edge. As it turns out, the answer is "not very."

I ask you to test it out. take a glass tumbler and place it upside down on a table. now place your finger in the middle of the glass, NOT on the edge. Try pushing it. It is rather hard unless you really push down, and then push forward hard, so that ruled out the possibility of anyone moving it. (It should also be noted that the table had a table cloth on it, which would create a crease if the glass was pushed hard anyway.) I was asked by Ian if I would like to "summon" so I did (feeling a little foolish in doing so)

However....

I wasn't laughing when after saying "If there are any spirits with us in the room, please move the glass towards me, the bloody thing, after about 10 seconds, twisted, and came towards me about 4 inches. I claimed it was one of the other 3 pushing on it but they were quite shocked themselves, and were ready to blme me for PULLING it! I asked it if it was a male, and to "move the glass" if the answer was yes....... Nothing...

... *Kshhhh*

"Oh lordy"

*Kshhhh*

The damned thing was moving in a circle, gliding about the cloth without any friction. Now even I was convinced, since it would have required all 4 of us to move the glass in sync' to get it to turn.

After succesfully freaking everyone out, the 4 people were changed, and I was signalled to by Paul that that was a good response and, apparently, I'm quite good at summoning because I have "that type of voice" I'm not sure quite what that meant, and thought it best not to ask. Benji had a go on the glass with some other people and got a bit of life from it.

Then 4 girls tried it.... And it went everywhere! Ian was randomly shouting names as the information was whittled down to a soldier who died in the castle in the 1300's. We stopped when people wanted to seriously get out of the room, and so we all converged back in the hall at 2:00am. After saying goodbye to everyone the group split up and left.

I shot up the M42 and got back on the A435 at about 2:30. After dropping benji off home, and coming back in to Wythall it was about 2:50, and I went straight to bed.

I think I will avoid all occurances with the occult from now on... It's far too strange for the likes of me, no matter how good a Summoner I am!

Right. I have to go and play with some more spirits now... The kind you drink, that is.

TTFN Readers.

*Go To: www.aura-artz.co.uk and click "overnight ghost hunts" on the right side of the page, about half way down. In the table, click "Tamworth Castle" to view the report for the evening.

Come up and ski me, sometime

Firstly readers, let me appologise. I wanted to blog a little fare-thee-well more than a week ago, telling you all that I would be going skiing, but I didn't get round to it. Last Saturday I went to Salzburg in Austria for a week. At 5:00am on Saturday morning I got up and had brekkie and headed down to my dads house for 6:00am with sister. I parked my car on his drive and we waited for the taxi. Now this is a story in itself...

Father had ordered the taxi the day before, stating quite clearly that we needed a vehicle that could hold 2 sets of skiis in the boot, and we needed the taxi for 6:15am. At 6:30am there was no sign of a taxi so dad rang Able Cars to complain. They appologised for the mix up and said that they didn't have the booking on record but they could send someone round in their mini-bus thingy. As father was ending the conversation he told them not to bother and he would find another taxi firm. Just then the taxi pulled up outside... It was an A2B. What the nitwit had done is book the taxi with A2B, and when it didn't show, phoned Able Cars to complain! (which is why they didn't have the booking on record.) However, it gets better. A2B had messed the booking up as well and had sent us a short Indian person driving a 1994 Rover 416.

Let me show you the mathematical formula for this equasion:

Skis = (185cm x2) x2 pairs.
Boot space of 1994 Rover 416 = Hight x Width x length.
Intelligence of short Indian = negligable

boot space = shit.
skiis = long.
I.Q of Indian = fuckwit.

I.Q of Indian / bootspace = problem

(I.Q of Indian + skiis) x bootspace = bigger problem

problem x bigger problem = Everyone involved wishing the stupid bastard would just put the skiis down, fuck off back to wherever he came from, and let us deal with it!

Well eventually he came to the conclusion that the skiis wouldn't fit in the boot (duh!) so he left. Father then had to get back on the phone to Able Cars and ask them if they could send their minibus thingy. They did and it arrived at 6:50am. We dived in and got to the airport for 7:15am. Our flight was at 8:30am...

... Or so we thought.

*Bing-bong* "flight BE170 to Salzburg will be delayed 1 hour. *Bing-bong*

Fan-bleedin'-tastic! (and it doesn't end there!)

Because of weight restrictions what we do is put one ski boot in out hand luggage and one in our suitcases. This is because if you check in a boot bag they charge you excess baggage, even if you are within your weight limit of 25kg (they do this to rip you of and make a bit of extra cash.) So at 9:10am we were called through and had to go through those blasted scanners. Father, sister, and I all put out hand luggage on the conveyor belt (each bag containing one of our ski boots) and walked through the probeulators of doom. (one little beep and it's rubber glove time!) The head honcho on duty was a skinny African dude with aspirations of invading poland one day. He stopped us and said that ski boots were not allowed on the aircraft and they would have to be checked in. (Oh Joy) By this time sister was bored with the situation, father was about to lose it big-time and I wanted to knee everyone in the crotch. We took the boots back down to check-in and just walked up to the front, not caring about the queue that was checking in for the flight after ours. (Since technically, if we have already checked in, then that puts us in front of them anyway!) We explained our situation to the short Indian girl on the desk. (I wonder if she was any relation to the taxi driver?) The first question she asked was what we were going to put them in. We hadn't got anything and she said that the airport didn't have anything it could give us. We had to go to one of the airport shops and BUY a cheap hold-all bag, big enough for 3 ski boots, for £10. We took them back to the desk ready to be checked in...

... Where we were told that because the bag now counts as excess baggage it would be £60 extra. We politely told her to get stuffed and that because it was the airline's fault for not being detailed enough in what can and cannot be taken onto the aircraft, then the fee does not apply. After several threats of legal action she decided to check them in with no fee attached. (sensible.)

We ran back up through the probulators, through the waiting lounge, through passport control and got on the aircraft.

The flight went well and we landed in good time at Salzburg airport at 12:30pm local time. (11:30am GMT.)

It was a 20 minute drive to the hotel (Hotel Werdenberg) in the village of Eben, south west Salzburg. The hotel had sent 2 mini-buses since our total party added up to 17 people. We got settled, had a walk in to the village (to check out where the best bars were) came back, got showered, and went for the evening meal. After we all went to bed since everyone had been awake for a good 16 to 17 hours.

Right, on with the rest of the week: After brekkie on Sunday morning, it was on to the slopes. The local resort is Flachau and it's neighbour resort is Flachau-winkel. (jokingly named by our party as "Flash-yer-winkle.") The hotel run a shuttle bus up to Flachau so we got on that and were skiing by 10:00am. The weather was fantastic and we all had a good time. After coming down at about 4-ish, I was looking at some skiis on special offer at the local sport shop. They were blue and white Blizzard X04 "Spiders" with tech-II sports bindings, all on offer for €180 which is about £130 (ooh, get you with the euro symbol on his keyboard!) I wondered if anywhere had them cheaper so didn't buy them just in case. That evening we all stayed up in the hotel bar getting to know all the staff. (the hotel is English-owned, so all the staff come from here, it's great!) The one guy, Kieron, used to work at the Barnt Green Inn with the daughter of one of the couples who had come with us. Incredible! (It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, It's a small wor... Oh, sorry.)

On Monday the weather took a bit of a turn and we had snow and quite a bit of cloud. It didn't stop us though and we all had a good days skiing. We also found the first real jump of the holiday. Flachau is a big place and we found some nice jumps to the side of one of the pistes. All the men had a go (as well as a few of the women) and thankfully no broken bones appeared. When we came down after the days skiing I went back to the shop to look at those skiis again. They were looking tempting so I thought "what the hell" and bought them. The guy in the shop fitted the bindings to my boots and set the release arc* to what I prefer (which is about 6.5 to 7.0)

*For non-skiiers, the release arc (or "release grip") is the screw you adjust to lift or lower the binding head. bindings that are set to 10.0 push hard on the lip of the ski boot and the ski is very firm. If you fall over, the chances that the bindings will release are minimum, meaning the ski stays on your foot, but you increase the chances of shattering your legs (since it's safer for the skis to come off because if they dig into the snow during a fall, it means you can't move your legs very well and the result is that you can shatter your knees or tear your leg muscles. The plus side is firm skiis respond to your feet better and perform well at high speed, since they don't rattle as much) at the other end of the scale, bindings set to 1.0 do not push as hard on the lip of the boot, and will come away easily if you fall. (but you sacrifice some control since the skiis can move slightly and this makes for tough high-speed corners.) In summary think of it like this:

Beginners should use a release of 1.0 ~ 3.0
Intermediate skiiers use 3.0 ~ 5.5
Advanced use 5.5 ~ 8.0
Proffesionals use 8.0 ~10.0

Right. On with the blog.

Tuesday morning we got up and went back up to Flachau. It was a bit cloudy but there was no snow....

... until about 11:30 when a full scale blizzard set in (ironic, since it was the first day I was using my new Blizzard skiis!) We skiied on the back runs of the mountain staying out of the wind and 70% of the snow. It did clear up in the afternoon and it stopped snowing long enough for us to get on the front side of the mountain and have a bit of fun* When we got back to the hotel we all had hot drinks and a nice warm shower (not all together, obviously.)

*Sub-story alert: We had found a huge jump to the right of the main run at Flachau the day before and wanted to have a go. I shot off the end and landed the other side without incident. The problem was that Selena saw me do it, and thought that if she went slow enough, then she could do it too... Which, to be fair, she probably could have. However, on the approach to the jump she seemed to pick up a fair amount of speed. Actually she was rocketing down and had no time to scrub any of it off. She hit the jump at a good rate and sailed over it about 6 feet off the ground. She also hadn't figured that going over a jump propells you UP as as well as OUT. the jump had a 4 foot drop, but Selena managed to get half that much again just because of the rate she hit the end of it... Then she did a rather spectacualr thing. She landed it. Both skiis on the snow with a bit of a thud go go with it.... spectacular! Then she did a rather predictable thing. 0.8 seconds after landing, the momentum of her skiis hitting the snow caused her to topple sideways and taste mountain... big style! After she got up and stuck her skiis back on everyone gave her a little round of applause for being the only person to jump it and get that much air-time.

Wednesdays weather was better although there had been massive snowfall during the night. We headed over to Flachau-winkel where the tops of the mountains were excellent but the runs nearer the bottom were awful. It was like skiing on caramelised sugar. I tested my skiis out further by pelting down a long straight run, just to test the flat-line running speed. The answer was "bloody-quick." Whilst their we also found a snowboard park with some good jumps. I love pissing off boarders and so some of us went in. We did a couple of jumps while being filmed by one of my dads mates. He got a nice shot of the looks on the boarders faces as well which was good. I don't know why boarders think they are cooler than skiiers. Skis are faster, better at cornering, and can take jumps as easily as a board can. Boards are, however, lighter and can get higher than skis off a jump, but that is a minor issue.

On Thursday we went up to Flachau-winkel again, and had some decent weather. We found a nice mountainside restaurant to have lunch in and set about finding more things to jump off and prat around at. We skiied over to find where the Salzburg Gold Run is (as used in the Winter Olympics in February) but couldn't find it. After coming down and checking the piste map, we realised that Flachau-winkel is split in to two halves that are not connected by ski lifts and the other side is a quick 2 minute bus ride round to another section of the mountain.

Friday was our last day skiing so we were all ready to make it count. We found a practice slalom course and the Gold Run. The bold and the brave set off down the official olympic run at a fair pace while those who wanted to relax a bit set off down on their own. I was hoping that it was kept in peak condition all year round but it wasn't. It was a bit choppy near the bottom and dissapointing to ski on. Herman Miyer can do it in 2:12. I did it in a little over 5 minutes! Doh! I don't think I'll bother entering for the olympic team... We came down in the afternoon and realised that we had finished our holiday. We headed back to the hotel to start packing and to relax a bit.

On Saturday we got to Salzburg airport and got on the plane at 1:30pm Local time and were home for 2:30pm GMT. Since I had the night off work I phoned Adam and Carl to see if they wanted to go out for a drink. We headed up to Casa in Solihull with Julia (who I phoned last-minute) and were later Joined by Marcus and Steve. It was the first Saturday night out I had in a long while so I really enjoyed myself! I got home at about 2:30am and went straight to bed.

On Sunday I got up late and had roast chicken for lunch (back to good old English grub!) And was in work for 3:00pm as usual. I was working with 2 new people at the legion. Hannah and Chris. They have both done bar work before so they know what they are doing. It was busy because of the Blues v Villa match and so afterwards I was glad to get out of the place (I prefer quiet Sunday afternoons.) We headed down to my Auntie Jans' since it was her birthday while we were on holiday so she made us tea. Me and selena brought her a bottle of wine and we spent the evening watching TV.

I woke up Yesterday (i.e. Monday) morning and got a text message off Selena asking me if me and mum wanted to go to West Midland Safari Park with her and Kieron. I said "yep" and phoned Adam and Carl to see if they wanted to join us. We set off at 11:30 with Adam and Carl meeting us their. We took about an hour getting there (with all the traffic and caravans) and were still about 20 minutes ahead of them in the queue to get in so we got on the drive-around section of the park, knowing that they would do the same. With carls driving, and a traffic jam in the lion enclosure, they ended up overtaking us at one point, and we both got round the trail within minutes of each other, which worked out well. The whole safari section lasted over 2 hours, and I got some good photos (which I will put at the end.)

After parking we got something to eat and went into "The Discovery Zone" which housed, among other things, a room full of bats. Now I dont mean bats that are behind a glass wall, no, no, no these bats were out and about... In a big way! I couldn't see them at first, because they are so fast, but I soon noticed them whizzing in and around people, who themselves had no idea that a bat had just rocketed past their head. It was fantastic to watch. We then headed over to the sea lion show which was the usual cacophany of jumping through hoops, doing tricks, waving at the audience and retrieving buoys, much to the amusement of the kiddies in the audience. We then all decided to get an ice cream and head over to the fairground section. After reralising we had to pay extra for the rides we decided to skip it and go in to the reptile house. We spent a good hour looking around all the wonderful and poisonous things on display. Time was getting on so we went in to the Aquarium and insect section and spent some time looking at all the different fish, crabs, eels, etc. not to mention spiders, ants, scorpions and cockroaches! It was nearly 6:00pm so we quickly crept back into the bat house for another look. Whilst in there my mum peed on by an incontinent bat... lovely! I got talking to the guide... Her name was Claire and had studied bats as part of her animal care qualification at Jersey College. She was about 19 ~ 20 and had a one of those cutsey laughs that always makes people a little bit caucious whenever they hear it... She was also ginger.

We all left at 6:30 and on the way back home called in to a pub for a drink or two. After discussing conspiracy theories and the moon landing, we headed for home at about 10:30... Where I made a mistake. I hadn't used the motorway getting to Kidderminster because of Bank-Holiday traffic, but I was going to do a short hop on the M5 to save time... Except I didn't. Rather than get on the M5 south and getting off at junction 4, I accidentaly got on the m5 north and came off at junction 1, and had to travel all the way back through the middle of Birmingham to get home... Which I did at about 11:30. Adam and Carl came back for a bit too, but I had to drop Kieron off home since he has to get up obscenely early for work.

I made a bolognaise (because I was hungry) and had it for supper, along with everyone else who wanted a bit. Adam and carl left at 12:30 looking dead tired. And I went to bed.

And thats the end of that chapter... Phew. I haven't blogged something of that length in quite a while... If indeed ever!

Here are some of the photo's of the Safari Park for you all to enjoy!









.

All aboard the midnight express

Hello again readers. My word! 2 posts in as many days! I rarely do that anymore...

This post needs to be written though as yesterday night was one of totally random happenings. I had completed my previous post "Mr & Mrs" (see below) after coming home from the Legion at 12 midnight, whilst my mother and sister were having a discussion about how to get to the Red Lion pub in Kings Heath. This was followed by a discussion about the quickest way to get to Perfection Snooker Hall in Stirchley. After adding my-two-cents and another alternate route, things started to get a bit hairy and everyone was confident that their way was quicker. Now my mother isn't usually one for moments of random spontaneousness (ooh, new word!) but after arguing with Selena she layed down the gauntlet and made her get in the car to time the journey! I got in aswell, just because I thought it would be fun. We left the house at about 12:30am and got to Perfection Snookerhall at 12:41am. 11 minutes Selenas way, which involved going up to Kings Heath (past the Red Lion) and turning right at the main set of traffic lights. As we passed the Snooker Club I started the stopwatch on my phone. My way is going through Kings Norton and down Bells Lane. On the way back Selena was telling everyone that she had been caught by a speed camera earlier in the day going through Solihull, but it had flashed as she was coming towards it. I said that this was not possible since cameras are designed to photograph the back of cars, and that they did not scan forwards, and on the opposite side of the road. She was adament that it did flash her so I layed down the second gauntlet and bet her that I could go through it from the front at 60mph and it would not fire. We got back home at 12:51, 10 minute journey, I had won by a whole minute to spare (Bloody women!) As we got out of the car Selena reminded me of my bet. I told her and mum to get into my car and dashed inside to get my wallet, since I would need petrol and some air in my tyres. (they were slightly under-pressured, I think I have a weak valve or two.) I got down to Texaco garage on the A435 and stuck £10.00 of fuel in my car and then reveresed up to the air hose. Now, this thing was a pain because you had to set the desired pressure BEFORE putting any money in, but did it tell you this? No. It expected you to be psychic. 2 Minutes of air was 20p which should be enough time for anyone to equalize their tyres...

... After spending £1.20 I finally realised what I was doing wrong and set the gauge correctly and put my money in. I then set off to Solihull. I got to the big island at the top of Blossom Hill Road at 1:20am. I took the first left and Selena said that she would point out where the camera was. It came in to plain view on the opposite side of the road, and it was just sat there looking like it didn't care what speed I was doing. I revved the car up to 60mph and went through....

..... *FLASH*

.... "What the...?"

The bloody thing did indeed photograph cars that were coming towards it! I was now cursing my head off since I was doing 60mph in a 40mph zone. I couldn't believe it. I turned round and decided to see if it would also flash if I went through the camera from behind it, like every other speed camera on the roads. I then considered the possibility that if it did, I could be looking at a hefty fine and points on my licence. I didn't risk it and will wait to see if I get a letter through my door from West Mercia Constabulary, asking me why I drive like a twat. If, however me and Selena do get fined I will contest it since front-flash speed cameras are now illegal (after one person was momentarily blinded by one and crashed.)

After stopping and having a look at the thing (I wanted to see if it looked diferent to a normal camera, but it didn't) I set off back home, driving very carefully indeed. We got back home for 2:30am. I went to bed tired, and annoyed.

I woke-up this morning, still annoyed and lounged about the house. I had dinner and went to work. I came home and decided to go to my nans for tea as usual. This calmed me down some-what.

I am now off to draft a letter of complaint to the speed camera people and will threaten legal action if the flash has caused my retinas any damage (well, you never know! Where there's blame, there's a claim!)

TTFN readers.

Mr & Mrs....

Well readers. Another month is upon us, and I'm counting down the days until I go skiing. (It's a week from Today!) I had a bright and joyous start to the Month because Today was Ralph and Kirsties' wedding. The service was held at Solihull Methodist Church (by the station) and everyone enjoyed it, especially the vicar who was singing at the top of his voice during the hymns... I'm sure he was trying to out sing everyone else... (Doesn't that count as pride?) He was wearing a smart white and gold robe... (Doesn't that count as vanity?) and conducted a very modern-style speech with a break in between to let some of Ralph's friends do a reading... (Doesn't that count as sloth?)

After the usual hum-drum of all the photographs all the immediate family went for a meal (to which we didn't go to) and a shin-dig at a hotel in Redditch, which Adam and John went to but as usual I was working. (doh!)




Sorry readers... My stupid, bloody, blasted phone isn't letting me upload photo's at the moment. I have a few pics of the lovely couple (and one of Carl) looking proper 'dapper in their gear. I will post them at another time. Meanwhile, keep an eye on John's blog as he has more photo's and will no doubt publish them at some point.

Right, moving away from weddings but continuing the theme somewhat, I found, whilst tiding my room the other day, a copy of the guide to "The Black Country Museum" which my class from Meadow Green is in! We were dressed in victorian gear and coming out of the church! I thought I had lost it ages ago but it was tucked at the back of my bookshelf hiding away. I have marked out who's-who as far as I can recognise

Ah, happy days! I remember it well. It's a pitty Mr Turbitt can hardly be seen. The whole year went on that trip which was 2 classes worth of pupils. We were split into 2 groups but not kept in our individual classes which is why people like Alex Drew and Kate Marley aren't on the picture.

Right readers. Thats all from me for now. TTFN.